2nd Entry - Kane and Lynch: Dead Men

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men - Xbox 360 - 3rd Person Shooter

This is a game i had high hopes for. It's a cool concept, plus Goof and I like co-op games, so this seemed like a perfect choice. The story is pretty simple; these two guys are broken out of jail by some criminal organization to rob a bank. Why, I'm not sure. Kane i understand sort of. He owes them money so they make him do bitch work. Lynch, however, makes no sense. He's in jail for maybe killing his wife no one knows if he did it or not not even him. This seems to be his whole criminal career. Plus he blacks out some times, doesn't seem like the best choice, but not all criminals are geniuses so I'll go along with it.

So the first couple levels are fun. You rob the bank, Lynch has an episode all the civilians turn into cops with pig heads, cause you know he's crazy. Then you have a fun little chase with you riding in the back of a van, pretty cool unless you're Lynch cause at this point the only weapon you can get is a shotgun or pistol, neither one really effective because they never get close. This turns out to be a major problem the whole game. Lynch always has a shotgun at the start of the level even if the level involves you sneaking through fields in Cuba, you might ask why you are in Cuba, but I can't really tell you cause I'm not sure myself. They tired to make an in depth story but mostly I couldn't figure out what was going on.

After like the first three levels you start just doing dumb stuff, that mostly is not fun. There is one part where you have to stop a giant dump truck from running over Kane's daughter cause, you know, the bad guys are bad. Mostly it's a game of chance if you manage to kill the guy, nothing really to do with skill just luck, which is super irritating. As an added bonus if you mess up, and you will (a ton), you get to watch a thirty second cut scene that you can't skip. This seems to be a common motif, because later, when you're in Cuba, The bad guys have Kane's daughter again, you start in the middle of a court yard with guys above you and no cover, yet a again it's pure chance if you don't die, and if you do, which you probably will, you get to listen to them bitch about Kane's daughter and whatever else is happening in the story for a good twenty seconds this time, yay fun!

So now we get to talk about the game play in general. First lets talk about the weapon selection, or lack there of. Essentially There is Kane's assault rifle, which starts as an M-4 and I believe turns in to a Galil, and whatever assault rifle the bad guys have, first an M-4 and the when you get to Cuba Ak-47s, they are about the same. And then the useless shotgun Lynch gets which you should drop for anything the first chance you get; it sucks that much. Then the controls. The buttons were ok, but it just seemed sloppy. The third person was again not bad but after playing Gears of War it made me mad sometimes. Also the levels where pretty much go to this place and kill everything in the way, which is the same as Halo but it just seemed not fun the way they did it. They put in grenades in almost as an after thought. They took so long to throw and you had to stand out of cover do so. When you really need them to take out large groups or a machine nest you are more likely to die then anything else. The graphics where yet again so-so. Kane and Lynch themselves looked pretty good, but the world was pretty bland and the bad guys all looked the same, the only difference between the cops and Cuban revolutionaries was the color of the uniform. Also the adrenaline was funny. There's no real good revive system in any game, but it just made me laugh that if you got hit by a tank round all you had to do was get a shot of adrenaline and you where cool

So in conclusion this game made me mad. At first I was like this is a fun co-op game but then it just started to suck, and became the opposite of fun. At one point I was happy to put it down and read bad Greek plays for class. I give it 5 out of 7 failpills