11th Entry - Fallout 3

Fallout 3 (Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC)

Hi guys it's been awhile, this week I'm doing Fallout 3. I've had a couple of friends say they didn't like this game cause it was just going to be Oblivion with guns (this doesn't matter to me cause I like Oblivion) and while that's true it doesn't mean anything. That's like saying Portal is Half-life with puzzles, sure it's built on the same engine, but it's not really the same game.

Let me start by saying I played Fallout 1 when it came out, but that was a long time ago and I haven't played it since, so I'm just not going to compare them. The game itself is really fun, and while the character creation is great they throw a lot of stuff at you in the beginning and they don't really tell you what it means, so pay attention to where you put your points.

So lets' get down to the meat and potatoes of the game. The controls are good, and hey if you don't like them you can even change them (plus, unlike certain other crappy games about Norse mythology the right stick is camera). The game can be played in either first or third person and you can really play it any way you like. If you want to be a bad ass warrior that refuses to use guns, you can get a fun little toy called a Shishkebob which is basically a flaming sword, it's actually on fire, and it sets everything on fire. If you just want to be your average post nuclear apocalypse survivor and use normal guns, or you know a giant minigun, or later in the game laser guns you can do that, and if you want to sneak around and have no one the wiser you can do that too (which if for some reason you decided that your default difficulty for games was very hard you kinda need to do).

So lets talk about armor. You have your basic random post nuclear apocalypse armor made out of old beer cans, some other stuff that's slightly better, and an Indy hat. Then as you progress you run into power armor which are relics from before the war. The bad guys that you fight near the end have this fun armor called Tesla armor. It's electrified, need I say more. Really though it looks super bad ass and has energy crackling around it all the time. Plus there is even this one set of talking medic armor that calls you a pansy when you get hurt and injects you with what is basically crack. I can't even begin to describe the hilarity of you getting raped by a Death Claw (I was going to say that as a joke, but it's a real enemy and that's the only way it can be described) and your armor saying "Suck it up soldier and have some juice".

Like any good post nuclear apocalypse game, the bad guys are an important part of the game. Sure, you have your giant insect and crazy raiders that kill for fun. Then there are fun things like giant bipedal crabs that you can only hurt if you shoot them in the face. Or Super Mutants, who you'll spend most of the story fighting. Then you have the leftovers of the previous government, that thinks everyone else is wrong and should die. They have super rape Tesla Armor and Plasma rifles. And they are the only people that have vehicles. I don't know how this happened. Also there is a Death Claw, it's a genetically modified death machine, made by the U.S. government. They run super fast and just rape you, and they come out of nowhere, and they travel in packs. I would suggest running but they run faster than you, so good luck.

The story is also very good, you grow up in a vault, your dad leaves, your childhood friend Amata realizes her father has gone crazy, says "Holy shit pork chop sandwiches! Get the fuck out!" (that's not really what they say, but they could [should] have). You then leave and go find him, saving the world along the way. Of course if you only play the main story you miss a large portion of the game. There are multiple side quests each with there own story and interesting characters, including two crazies that think they are super heroes but really they are just destroying the town and you must stop them, I won't ruin it any more but it's pretty funny. Plus there is one quest where you need to find Lincoln artifacts, one of which it\s Lincoln's Repeater. It's pretty much the best thing ever.

The world is is well done. It all kind of bleeds together but then it's supposed to because it's just a giant wasteland (fun fact: where the game takes place is within easy driving distance from my apartment). And while the wastes are all the same all the settlements you run into stand out from each other, like the first town you see, Megaton. A town built around an atomic bomb that didn't go off, seems safe right? Or Arefu, built on a broken interstate bridge to stop the raiders. Or the town that's just surrounded by mine fields (it's a really cool place you should go). The characters stand out and everyone looks different (aside from the very few unnamed characters). So each place has it's quirks. And then there is D.C.. It is very irritating, (and irradiating too)(sorry that's a crappy pun I'm not proud of) not because of the Super Mutant hordes or the random ghouls, or even the traps. It's the subway tunnels, and I get it it's a bombed out city so the only way to get around is the tunnels, but still it's less fun. Don't get me wrong it's still kinda fun but this is the only problem I had with the game (that and this one part where i had to talk to this kid and I said bye cause I wanted to do other stuff, then had to search for him for literally an hour). Also, I didn't run into this but Goof did, it's a grocery store where the game designers built a Rube Goldberg with which to rape you. You set off a pressure plate that sets off dominoes that sets off a pitching machine that sets off a line of mines all they way around the room to kill you, it takes like 15 seconds. It's awesome.

Really, I just lied to my loyal readers, my major problem with the game was the length, it was way too short. This is a really good game, and if you have ever liked a sand box game or an RPG, you should buy it. One caveat though, watch the clock, one night I sat down to play it at like nine, then I looked outside and the sun was up.

All in all, a great new release to an old series, and it is awarded 950 rads/sec out of 1000 rads/sec.