1st Mini Entry - Legendary

Hello all - today I am going to be doing something slightly different - I'll be telling you all about a game both Poke and i think looks AWESOME. From time to time, we'll post an entry like this when a game we're very excited about is coming out.

This time, I'm writing the entry, because while Poke thinks it looks cool, I am damn near obsessed with it. (I'm considering getting a 360 just for it...)

It's called Legendary.



Ok, well, no one really likes PS3, but it's the only cover i could find, ok? I'm sorry.

AT ANY RATE. As you can see, griffins. Also, werewolves. How can this game be bad?

Seriously though.

Griffins.

This isn't doing you any good. Here's the trailer. It can tell you how badass this game really is better than me.



This looks like one of the best games for 360 in a good while, if not one of the prettiest graphically. At any rate, this game has so many opportunities to be awesome, if it comes up short, know that there will be a long and very unkind blog entry about it.

Plus, there's a shotgun. It has to be good right?

TIll next time, everyone.

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Now playing: Accept - Balls To The Wall
via FoxyTunes

6th Entry - Too Human

Hello, everyone. This week I'm reviewing Too Human.



Too Human - Xbox 360 - 3rd Person Adventure/Shooter

This is a game Goof and I really wanted to be good. It's about Norse mythology, how could it not be? Well, the reason I'm doing this one and not Goof , is the Norse part, or rather lack thereof. If Goof were to do it, there would be pages and pages of how wrong it is. I'll just say it failed and move on.

As a change of pace I'll start out with all the good parts, cause there were some. The warhammer weapon class made a satisfying "tink" sound when you hit people with them. Plus there is a weapon class that i can only describe as Death Cannons. Plus the graphics where technically good but they made some poor aesthetic choices.

OK, so on the parts that suck. And there are many.

The controls are terrible, like really, really, bad. I guess it was supposed to be an innovative feature like in Fight Night (I loved that game). But anyway, the controls involve you just randomly swinging the right thumb stick around, and that's just the melee. The gun controls are even worse. To fire you press the right trigger and to shoot powerful shots the left trigger. Sounds simple enough, but don't let it decieve you; it doesn't let you aim. You have to use a terrible lock on feature. It says you can select targets but really you can only select targets at the far left or right. If you want to target the big guy in the middle you're pretty much screwed, plus God help you if you end up turned around trying to shoot something.

Now lets talk about the camera control. Instead of making the right stick the camera they just made it failsuck. You can hit left bumper to center it behind you but you can't really in the middle of a fight. So you end up not knowing where you are going most of the time.

So on to the game play. As I mentioned on the controls section you just swing the thumb stick around. A lot. Like that's all you do. Each level consists of you fighting progressively bigger enemies till you get to the boss at which point you swing it around some more then he dies. Yay, you win. This is like a lot of games, but in this game the enemies don't even change. Like they don't even get a different paint job. Then after every hundred or so (not an exaggeration you kill a lot of things) you fight a big named guy. But the only different part about him is he is bigger has more health and a really gay name, like "Wrist Slit" (Not kidding really a guy you fight). The only game play change is the last level. For those of you who know about Norse mythology you go to Helheim(on a side note no one can ever leave Helheim, not even gods), for everyone else you go to Hel and fight zombies and even Garm (the zombie guard dog). So instead of robot elves (I guess I forgot that part, up to this point everything you fight is a robot. Also there are no elves in Norse mythology, I wasn't kidding when I said they failed) you fight zombies. Big change, but not really cause you just swing the right thumb stick around till everything dies.

I'm putting in an extra paragraph to rant about "Cyberspace". I'm relatively sure they just put this part in to pretend they had puzzles. Mostly it just removes you from the other game play and forces you to go push a button, later in the game you have to chose between three buttons. It's really hard.

So on to the loot. This game drops crap tons of loot. But really you just need to wait till you find an orange piece then you can use it for like ten levels and just sell everything else you pick up. I do wonder though, if you're supposed to be a god, why is the stuff you pick up off dead robots better than the stuff you start out with?

The story is also pretty terrible, I can sum it up in some short sentences. You wake from the dead. You kill the Grendel (by the way this is from Beowulf, not Norse). You fight Hod, because he killed you. Loki gets away. You kill Hel, Loki's daughter. And really the Grendel part isn't important i just wanted to point out that part not even loosely based on Norse myths.

The only cool part is Thor cause he's just a bad ass, when you first meet him be breaks the table with his hammer and asks for some mead. Plus they gave it a terrible ending, just asking for a sequel but all that's left is to kill Loki.

I bash this game a lot, but it wasn't really super terrible. I definitely had to force myself to finish it, cause it was the opposite of fun. I give it three out of seven failhammers.

5th Entry - Doom 3

Yes everyone, we're back for another round.

It was my birthday this weekend, thanks to all my friends for making it great. One of my presents was a cat figurine from the Dollar Tree that has the most evil and terrifying eyes I have ever seen. That's all I'm telling you.



Doom 3 - PC, Xbox - FPS

Ok so this week it's Doom 3's turn. Yes. You read that right. I DON'T LIKE DOOM 3. In fact, i think its downright awful. Here's why.

First off, this is a horror shooter. Where is the horror? This game simply isn't scary. Call me desensitized, but the only time I jumped from shock in this whole game was when the first zombie appears. After that, it was mind-numbingly predictable. Here's an example.

Player: Hmmm, there's a dead body over there. Also I hear demonic whispering. There must be a enemy or two over there.
*Player walks to said area*
Player: Damn flashlight. Why can't I use you and a weapon at the same time. This would be a perfect time to get ambushed.
Imp Demon: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! HISSSSSSSS!
Player: Fuck.

This happens over and over through out the game, and eventually you want to throw the disc at a wall. My favorite type of ambush (sarcasm) is when you're backed into a corner, and suddenly one of those hell hound things warps in, and begins doing terrible, prison cell things to you before you even know it happened.


The gratuitous blood and gore gets kind of old too. Sure, it makes sense that if i put a shotgun to a imp's head, and pull the trigger, the result is messy. But every corner i go around, there is another brutally murdered and dismembered scientist. (There are only so many scientists on this stupid rock called Mars, apparently demons like guys in white suits) Too much gore makes it just ridiculous. Not to mention there are a lot of operating tables in this base, and apparently the surgeons are terrible, because the tables are always slick with blood and covered in body parts. Remind me to never sign up for the Doom Health Plan.

Ok, I'll give it to them, for a shooter, this story is not half bad. Pretty good even. Pretty good until you open a portal from hell AND DEMONS START COMING THROUGH! How does this work? You're on Mars. Mars! Is hell even near Mars? And let's say i even buy that they can teleport to Mars. Why do they want to come to Mars? It's got zombies on it, so screw that, give it to the demons.

Moving on. The weapons are alright. I like the shotgun. I always like shotguns. Their overpowering silliness makes me happy. Then there's the pistol. Wow. I'm pretty sure calling the demons bad names would hurt them more than this freaking thing. Really though. Don't use it. The other guns are pretty rudimentary - assault rifle, plasma gun, rocket launcher...your run-of-the-mill sci-fi shooter. A run-of-the-mill weapons set doesn't make a already lame and limping game any better though...

Uh...the Soul Cube. Yeah, let's not even go there because...I...uh...wha...guh...retarded.

Oh, and thank you game developers of Doom 3, for trying to mix up the gameplay and put puzzles in the game. You assume i will get bored with shooting demons, and want to do some puzzles? Are you kidding? What the hell is this, Bubble Bobble? Why am i playing Doom 3? I have a RAGING HARD-ON TO KICK SOME FIREBALL-CHUCKING, DEVIL WORSHIPING DEMON ASS, that's why. But no. I have to slide some tiles around. You didn't put puzzles in here to mix up the gameplay. You just want to waste my time.

Hmm. Oh yes, i haven't had my flashlight hating rant yet. Look, let's face it, we're in a miltary base, and one of these gung-ho manly marines has to have some duct tape. Just grab that junk, wrap it on the flashlight, strap it to the gun, and now all of a sudden your game's players don't hate your existence anymore. Seriously, I get that having to switch to a flashlight makes it more creepy, or whatever, but when i start having to light my way by muzzle flashes so i don't get bum-rushed by flying death demons, I get a little annoyed.

Speaking of flying death demons - the enemies all look like they probably did come straight from hell. Sure. Yeah. But flying babies? Flying BABIES. They even whine like little children. Come on, couldn't you have done something less dumb? How about a winged, fire breathing serpent? See? I'm already miles ahead of you. Fire breathing serpents > flying babies that cry.

Also, the "bosses" are laughable. Really. The first one, that spider like thing, is just sad. I think i used two shotgun clips on it. Maybe. The final boss can only be described as total fail. I shot it twice with the rocket launcher. Two rockets to the dome, and I had beaten the biggest monster in all of hell. It makes tons of sense.

Bottom line - Doom 3 is a shooter than does several things pretty decently, a lot of stuff badly, and throw in a handful of mediocre weapons to make it lackluster. There are worse games, but there are DEFINITELY better ones. A lot of them. Like most of them.

All that considered, Doom 3 earns its way to a score of two and a half out of seven faillights.



Till next time, everyone.



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Now playing: Black Label Society - Nothing's the Same
via FoxyTunes

4th Entry- Point Break

Hey guys, this week I'm keeping with the movie theme and doing Point Break, and while this movie is old it is still hilariously bad.

This is what it says on the back of the box: "'Ultra-stylized, testosterone-charged action, death-defying stunts, wall-to-wall rock music and ear-shattering sound' (Village View(who has ever heard of them)) are just the backdrop for this super-intense, high-octane thriller..." I mean really I don't even have to come up with a joke, it's that ridiculous. I really enjoyed this movie, but not as a high-octane thriller (lot of hyphens on there aren't there) but more as a laugh out loud comedy.

It has every thing from super campy dialogue, such as Patric Swayze's famous line "Little hand says it's time to rock and roll." (really what does that even mean, does his watch's second have a 'rock and roll' time, and if so where did he buy it?)
to ridiculous action scenes; like a 90 second conversation held in free fall, when in reality you can't hear anything much less have a conversation and the fall lasts thirty seconds at most after which your just a splat on the landscape. My favorite scene ever is when Gary Busey and Keanu Reeves (I'm not going to mention the character names cause really who cares?) hatch their plot to catch Patrick's merry band of surfer/bank robbers. After they figure that all they need to do is put Keanu under cover as a surfer (which he fails at by the way) they jump up on the table and start table surfing. I wish I could find a picture because you really have to see it the appreciate the fail, but apparently they signed a deal with the devil cause i can't find it anywhere.

The plot is just sad. Keanu is a wet behind the ears F.B.I. agent who thinks he is going to change the world. There are these bank robbers nobody can catch but this one old guy (Gary Busey) that everybody hates knows they are surfers because of some bogus police work that anyone with half a brain knows is total crap. So anyway he tells his new partner about his theory and then Keanu goes under cover, too bad he can't surf, plus I guess he is too dumb to remember a cover id so he doesn't even change his name. So he meets this super hot chick that also happens to be an x-girlfriend or some such of the bank robber, our pal Patrick. I guess he's just super lucky cause she also wants to bang the crap out of him. So blah blah he learns to surf and impresses the bank robbers, by getting in a fight with the bad crowd. He totally thinks it's this bad group cause no way, it can't be his friend Patrick, he's too cool. Turns out he's wrong and his friends find out he's a cop. So they then kidnap him and go parachuting(?).

Later after some sexual tension between him and his girlfriend, they force him to help rob a bank. Yet again not sure why I don't know they gain by this but hey it's a terrible movie anyway so I'll go with it. Of course something goes wrong one of them gets shot and the cops come. This lead to one of the dumbest chases ever. Keanu trips and Patrick gets away but as he's climbing the fence Keanu pulls out his gun, but because he is his friend he can't shot him, so instead he shoots into the air probably kill and bunch of kids, cause of that whole gravity thing. Then later Keanu is on the plane with the surviving bank robbers (no one knows why, probably not even the writers) and Patrick jumps out leaving no chute for Keanu so he jumps after him. Again not sure why cause the plane isn't crashing and there's even a living breathing pilot but whatever. So this leads to the 90 second free fall complete with conversation, which as I already discussed is just wrong. Then because Keanu's a dumb ass Patrick gets away.

Later in Australia (I do this transition because it's pretty much how it is in the movie) Patrick is going to catch the perfect wave and Keanu shows up with a bunch of cops and then he lets him surf and then quits his job. Then the movie ends.

I really wonder what everyone who was making this movie thought of it. Like this movie was bad for when it can out but I guess everybody on set didn't want to admit it and just lied to themselves. So in the end I give it four out of seven fail boards.

3rd Entry - In the Name of the King

Hey everybody, welcome back to our blog. Hope you had as good a weekend as I did.

This week I am changing it up a bit, and I am going to review our first movie, In the Name of the King, starring Jason Statham.

Also, I am going to give a spoiler alert, but honestly, if you watch this movie because you want to see the story unfold, you're doing it wrong.



In The Name of the King - DVD - Action/Fantasy/Adventure

All right, so, first off this movie is hilarious. I don't think i can stress enough how funny this movie is. However, it isn't supposed to be funny. It's just that bad.

Secondly, Jason Statham is awesome. He never stops stomping face in this movie. Or any movie he is in, for that matter. In this case, i think he took this movie because he felt he needed to expand his repetoire into comedy. Either way, Jason, buddy, you're not a B-list actor, don't do this to yourself.

If you've ever played a game like World of Warcraft, or Dungeon Siege (which the movie is apparently based off of), or seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies, or read any kind of fantasy novel, you know the deal. It goes like this.

1. Hero is introduced.
2. Hero kicks some preliminary ass.
3. Hero's loved one dies/is captured/both. (In this case, both.)
4. Hero kicks lots of ass.
5. Hero wins.

OK so, Jason Statham is Farmer, an....uh... farmer whose son is killed by the Krugs (really though, they are Orcs from LOTR) and whose wife is captured by the ubiquitous bad-guys. So Jason Statham being the kind of guy he is, goes off to get revenge. (Revenge, yes, but revenge is so different when it's Jason doing it.)

But before he can leave, he's gotta fight off the remaining Krug (ORCS!) in his village. Know how he does it? With a BOOMERANG. Yeah, pretty much the best thing ever.

Once that's done, a few volunteers come along with him, and it's off to reclaim wifey.

Along the way they have a few random encounters, but one is by far my favorite. Our heroes begin to wander through the forest, when they are captured by what i can only accurately describe as tree-ninjas. I think what they were going for was a dryad or a druid of some sort, but tree-ninja is much better. At any rate, a massively POINTLESS scene ensues where Jason says to let them go, the tree-ninjas say OK, sorry to bother you, and everyone goes on their way. Really. That's the whole scene. Ridiculous.

So now we've arrived near the castle (which is ruled by everyone's favorite, Turd Ferguson...err, Burt Reynolds). There is some stuff in the middle I've missed, but it really, REALLY doesn't matter.

Ray Liotta makes a hilarious appearance as a evil wizard - his character must exist to have all of the bad lines, the man never says one line that isn't beyond hilarious. (YOU WISH TO ACCELERATE!?!?!? FINE! WE SHALL ACCELERATE!) Matthew Lillard plays the stupid and greedy heir to the throne, who is league with the wizard to overthrow Turd (Burt Reynolds, dammit). Also, Johnathan Rhys-Davies plays a good wizard, much different from his role as Gimli in LOTR.

So now at this point we're in the middle of a huge battlefield, the king's army versus a ragtag band led by our man Jason.

The battle commences, and as far as battle sequences go, this one is not too terrible. Really. Its actually fairly enjoyable, and it isn't hilariously bad either. But then, something amazing happens.

Legions of NINJAS appear! That's right, legions. No they aren't the tree ninjas either. But then, just as you recover from the addition of ninjas, then (you guessed it) the TREE NINJAS return to help out our beloved hero. But even when you thought it couldn't get more ridiculous, a rotting hand emerges from the ground, and now, ZOMBIES join the fray! (If by this point in the film, you aren't able to breathe from laughter, something is wrong with you.) So after this giant battle of ridiculous proportions, our man Jason comes out on top, outcasts the greedy heir, and takes his place as the real king, with his newly reclaimed wife at his side. That's right, a twist ending, how could we have known Jason was the real heir to the throne? TELL US, TURD FERGUSON. HOW?!

The best (and probably only way) to watch this movie is with a huge group of your friends. So while it is a terrible, terrible movie, it is redeemed by its accidental humor value.

All in all, a bad movie, but a great thing to do when bored. I give In the Name of the King 3 out of seven fail ninjas.


(Thanks to myself and Poke's good friend GADs for the awesome ninja pic)

Also, this movie is directed by Uwe Boll - you should know, this guy is infamous in Hollywood for just making terrible movies. Also, he is infamous for generally being a dick. He also has a apparent enjoyment of calling various critics and directors "retards." Way to go, Uwe. Deutschland is proud.

Uwe Boll has released a video stating that he is "the only genius in the whole fucking [movie] business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "fucking retards". (Wikipedia)

Blair Erickson, a writer of a treatment for Alone in the Dark, has written a critical account of his experience working with Boll, in which Erickson alleges that Boll stole ideas from prior movies and wanted to add elements to the story that were not true to the tone of the source material. Uwe chose to not use Erickson's script, citing reasons such as it having "not enough car chases." (Wikipedia)

Blizzard Entertainment refused Boll's request to make a World of Warcraft adaptation; Boll said, "I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard, and he said, 'We will not sell the movie rights, not to you... especially not to you.'" (Wikipedia)

All right everyone, and with that, till next time.

- GoofyTooth

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Now playing: Mastodon - Blood and Thunder
via FoxyTunes

2nd Entry - Kane and Lynch: Dead Men

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men - Xbox 360 - 3rd Person Shooter

This is a game i had high hopes for. It's a cool concept, plus Goof and I like co-op games, so this seemed like a perfect choice. The story is pretty simple; these two guys are broken out of jail by some criminal organization to rob a bank. Why, I'm not sure. Kane i understand sort of. He owes them money so they make him do bitch work. Lynch, however, makes no sense. He's in jail for maybe killing his wife no one knows if he did it or not not even him. This seems to be his whole criminal career. Plus he blacks out some times, doesn't seem like the best choice, but not all criminals are geniuses so I'll go along with it.

So the first couple levels are fun. You rob the bank, Lynch has an episode all the civilians turn into cops with pig heads, cause you know he's crazy. Then you have a fun little chase with you riding in the back of a van, pretty cool unless you're Lynch cause at this point the only weapon you can get is a shotgun or pistol, neither one really effective because they never get close. This turns out to be a major problem the whole game. Lynch always has a shotgun at the start of the level even if the level involves you sneaking through fields in Cuba, you might ask why you are in Cuba, but I can't really tell you cause I'm not sure myself. They tired to make an in depth story but mostly I couldn't figure out what was going on.

After like the first three levels you start just doing dumb stuff, that mostly is not fun. There is one part where you have to stop a giant dump truck from running over Kane's daughter cause, you know, the bad guys are bad. Mostly it's a game of chance if you manage to kill the guy, nothing really to do with skill just luck, which is super irritating. As an added bonus if you mess up, and you will (a ton), you get to watch a thirty second cut scene that you can't skip. This seems to be a common motif, because later, when you're in Cuba, The bad guys have Kane's daughter again, you start in the middle of a court yard with guys above you and no cover, yet a again it's pure chance if you don't die, and if you do, which you probably will, you get to listen to them bitch about Kane's daughter and whatever else is happening in the story for a good twenty seconds this time, yay fun!

So now we get to talk about the game play in general. First lets talk about the weapon selection, or lack there of. Essentially There is Kane's assault rifle, which starts as an M-4 and I believe turns in to a Galil, and whatever assault rifle the bad guys have, first an M-4 and the when you get to Cuba Ak-47s, they are about the same. And then the useless shotgun Lynch gets which you should drop for anything the first chance you get; it sucks that much. Then the controls. The buttons were ok, but it just seemed sloppy. The third person was again not bad but after playing Gears of War it made me mad sometimes. Also the levels where pretty much go to this place and kill everything in the way, which is the same as Halo but it just seemed not fun the way they did it. They put in grenades in almost as an after thought. They took so long to throw and you had to stand out of cover do so. When you really need them to take out large groups or a machine nest you are more likely to die then anything else. The graphics where yet again so-so. Kane and Lynch themselves looked pretty good, but the world was pretty bland and the bad guys all looked the same, the only difference between the cops and Cuban revolutionaries was the color of the uniform. Also the adrenaline was funny. There's no real good revive system in any game, but it just made me laugh that if you got hit by a tank round all you had to do was get a shot of adrenaline and you where cool

So in conclusion this game made me mad. At first I was like this is a fun co-op game but then it just started to suck, and became the opposite of fun. At one point I was happy to put it down and read bad Greek plays for class. I give it 5 out of 7 failpills

1st Entry - Brute Force

Hello everyone, this is the first installment in Terrible Entertainment Media, where myself (GoofyTooth) and my friend (Poke) will review and promptly ridicule terrible, terrible games, movies, and the like. (Let's remember this is all in good fun, if I don't like a game you do like, its not you i don't like, but the game.)

We're both VCU students living in Richmond, VA.

If you have a idea for us to write about feel free to send it to thegoof@hotmail.com!

With that said, let's get right to it.




















Brute Force - Xbox (Original) 3rd Person Shooter

Let me preface this by saying I wasted only $4 and eight hours of my life on this game. When Poke and I saw it at GameStop for $4, we immediately thought of how we had only played the game a few times when it first came out, and we remembered it being rather fun.

But no. Oh, no, no, no. I don't know how I ever enjoyed this game.

Admittedly, the first few levels were fun in a terrible, campy, and nostalgic kind of way. We laughed at the bad writing, the bad graphics, and the laggy gameplay. But by the time we reached about the tenth or so level, it went from amusement to outright frustration and irritability. I don't know where to start with this game. It does everything a shooter should do, but badly and painfully so.

First off, it's a third person shooter. But not really. Its more of a put-the-camera-on-the-guy's-back-and-wave-it-awkwardly shooter. You really spend most of the game looking at the upper half of your character's scaly/naked/armored back.

Speaking of the characters, there are four main playable characters.

Tex - A human male who can wield two weapons at once
Brutus - a male lizard who can go into a sort of frenzy
Hawk - a human female who can go invisible for a short period of time
Flint - a synthetic (huh? but really though she's a human female) who can auto-snipe

Now you would think all of these characters have their ups and downs. But in all honesty the only characters who are truly playable are Tex and Brutus. Hawk dies from anything that shoots her, ever, at ALL. And Flint is also too fragile to use effectively, and while her sniping ability could be useful, there are no good sniping spots in the whole game. And did i mention HAwk and Flint are unable to pick up the three most useful weapons in the game? Oh, AWESOME.

The weapon selection in this game at first seems impressive, but it's actually about twelve terrible weapons, and three useful ones. Seriously, if you try to use anything other than the minigun, shotgun, or missile launcher, you'll just become annoyed. Oh, yeah, and you start essentially every level with a laser gun with regenerating ammo. Yeah, that's how you KNOW it's good.

Let's talk about the game's cutscenes. For as old as this game is, the CG work is decent and most of the cutscenes look acceptable. However, every SINGLE cutscene does the same thing over and over, but with variations in the speech. I shall demonstrate.

Commander Guy: Great job team.
Team: Thanks.
Commander: Your next mission is on (insert planet here). You have to eradicate (insert alien race here).
Tex: Let's DO IT!
Hawk: Mmmmmmmmmmmhmm.
Flint: (some kind of moody interjection)
Brutus: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!

There you go. Every cutscene in the game.

Also the battlefield banter from the characters becomes old in less than five minutes, because their vocabulary is less than fifty words apiece. Let me again show you an example of the only things each character can say:

Tex: I'm a giant bad-ass.
Brutus: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Hawk: (She never says anything, she is always too busy dying/respawning.)
Flint: I snipe things.

It gets old very fast and you begin to hate when your character speaks.

The music is non-existent, and when it actually does chime in, it tries to sound epic, but it always comes up very very short.

The level design leaves something to be desired, and the final few levels seem like they were thrown together like a project due in six hours. Again, like much of the game, the levels seem to degenerate as you proceed.

However, the thing that really threw me off was the final stage, or I suppose what was theoretically supposed to be a "boss battle," but it was more of a lesson in frustration. The final boss teleports around several high towers and shoots missiles at you as you run for cover. You can only run around the level in search of a button which, when pressed, drops a meteor (OF COURSE!) on a small part of the stage. Shooting the actual boss will not damage him, so it stands to reason you wouldn't simply open fire on him just because. But in fact if you don't shoot him, YOU'RE DEAD WRONG. You need to pummel him with as much ammo as you can so he will teleport to the exact spot where you can drop the meteor on him. (Oh, silly me.)

The other thing about the final stage that i can't understand is that it is completely different from all other gameplay in that it can't be solved by throwing lots of minigun rounds at it. Seriously, the only truly fun thing about the game is using the minigun to put ridiculous amounts of lead in the air, so why they would remove this element in the final battle is beyond me.

In closing, since I only spent $4 on this game, I don't feel too bad. If i had abought the game when it was released, i would feel sick.

At any rate, this game is of course, terrible, so play at your own risk.

Therefore, I award Brute Force four out of seven fail.





Until next time.

- GoofyTooth

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Now playing: Blind Guardian - The New Order
via FoxyTunes