26th Entry - Borderlands

If you're not aware by now that Poke and I are big fans of co-op games, then you're obviously new or you just don't pay attention. Either way, when we heard about a 4 player co-op shooter, i was instantly on board. AND it's post-apocalyptic!? Yessir.



Borderlands - Xbox 360

Borderlands is a post-apocalyptic shooter/RPG abomination (the good kind of abomination) that takes place on desolate Pandora. You're a merc in search of the Vault, a treasure trove of alien weaponry. This is essentially the whole story. The gameplay is all this game has going for it, and fortunately, it's quite fun.

Now, there are four classes to choose from in Borderlands, with a level cap that goes to 50 (61 if you bought the newest DLC).

First is the Soldier, Roland, specializing in shotguns and assault rifles. His special ability is a turret that not only blows away enemies, but it can also eventually drop ammo, fire rockets, refill health, and even resurrect fallen allies. Roland can effectively fullfill a CQB/DPS role, running in with high damage shotguns, or he can fulfill a healer role through a talent that heals allies when you shoot them. This is also the class yours truly played as.

Next is the Hunter, the sniper named Mordecai. He specializes in sniper rifles (durr) and pistols. His special ability is his pet hawk, Bloodwing, which can attack mulitple targets for reasonable damage. Mordecai has talents that emphasize making enemies drop extra loot (whee) as well as making it much easier to one-shot your enemies. Mordecai eventually can learn a talent which allows his sniper shots to skip shields entirely, often causing lethal damage. Poke played to 61 with me as this class.

Brick, the Berserker, specs in launchers and, um, his fists. Brick's talents revolve around pummeling things with his hands harder, faster, and more efficiently. They can also make his launcher skills go through the roof. Brick generally fulfills a tank role, in which he runs in punching things while his friends pick everything else off.

Lilith, the Siren, is an odd mage-esque class that specs in SMGs. Her talents revolve around causing elemental damage, i.e. melting, incinerating, electrocuting and detonating her enemies. Her Phasewalk ability has a fast cooldown, and can be used to inflict huge damage through damage over time (DOT) abilities. She can essentially go full melee or SMG/melee, though i recommend suing SMGs, they are my favorite gun type.

Ah yes. Guns. Borderland's claim to fame is their eleventy bazillion gun types throughout the game. Basically, no matter what, there is a gun for you in this game. Indeed, this is where the game truly shines.

I've found rocket launchers that shoot mortars, assault rifles that fire all forms of fire, acid, lighting and explosive rounds, shotguns that fire rockets, sniper rifles that have a explosion radius, shotgun pistols, an SMG that functions more like a flamethrower, and weapons that fire bullets that bounce off walls as well was weapons that fire curving rounds. Some of the most fun you will have in this game is by experimenting with what you do and don't like. Poke and I thoroughly enjoyed tossing out guns and trying new and different setups until we found out what we really liked.

The game is truly fun all the way through, and though it lacks a complex story, unless you're a Final Fantasy person with no soul, I doubt you'll care.

Aside from the story aspect, little else is wrong with the game itself. There were few if any bugs to be found. The controls can feel a tad loose at times, but it's only a tad bothersome at first. Not much about the game sticks out as bad, honestly.

There were several DLC packs released for Borderlands -

The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned - This is definitely the best DLC pack. Basically you just kill zombies, as well as a few other goofy creatures, and harvest their brains. Some ridiculous guns to be found in this DLC pack. Ned's undead, baby. Ned's undead.

Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot - This DLC pack sucked pretty hard, even if it was Borderlands. The whole thing is a goddamn grindfest, and each tournament takes 2-3 hours of work. Don't buy this, although it does add the in-game bank system, which is important for keeping a collection of guns you like.

The Secret Armory of General Knoxx - A great DLC pack with lots of Crimson Lance to kill, as well as midgets. Lots of midgets. Poke and i had a blast with this one. Enjoy looting the secret armory, it's a bunch of fun.

Bottom line - Borderlands is fun as hell - the more the better. Grab a copy and jump in.
9/10

25th Entry - Modern Warfare 2

Yep it's a older game, and this isn't a new review. I have neglected this for a very long time now but I'm back again to keep this alive.

We'll start off with Modern Warfare 2, the much anticipated sequel to Call of Duty 4 - Modern Warfare.

I, like so many others, enjoyed COD4's single player and multiplayer very much, and was quite eager to play the sequel.



Call of Duty - Modern Warfare 2 (Xbox 360)

Anywho, when I sat down and popped this in, I was hoping for an awesome single player experience, above all else. I was not disappointed.

The story, even though it may be convoluted and a little goofy at times, is fun and engaging, much like the original Modern Warfare.

There are lots of improvements, such as more weapons and more epic battles. Even on Veteran, I never got too frustrated at dumb level design or something of the like.

Unfortuantely, there is a lot to hate about the single player as well. The AI is mentally retarded, both enemy and friendly. The enemies stand directly out of cover and run into walls fairly often. I don't know what this is a byproduct of, but it's quite distracting. The allied AI runs in front of you at all times, blocking shots fairly often. The so-called "controversy" on the Russian airport level was over-hyped and quite ridiculous, honestly. Aside from these issues, though, the campaign is fun to play.

The Special Ops mode is really awesome, and Poke and I thoroughly enjoyed beating most of it. There is a point where it just gets too damn hard, and this is pretty much where is stops being fun. It goes from holding down a elevated position with sniper rifles and claymores to fighting off 3 juggernauts at a time with only grenade launchers to protect yourself. ON VETERAN. Same issues here though, stupid AI, though at least my co-op partner isn't retarded and can actually play the game.

And multiplayer. Alas, so much to say about it. At its core, it is a well designed operation. Lots of customization and player choice, as well as a fun leveling system. However, the game has been plagued with hacks, updates, errors, server suckage, and general douchebaggery.

First there were the akimbo Model 1887 shotugns, which had the range of several times any other shotgun, and you'd run into jerk-offs every damn game running around and sniping you cross-map with them. Eventually this was patched, but IW dropped the ball and players discovered that adding the FMJ attachment reverted them to their pre patch status. IW eventually patched this too, but months later.

Then there was the care package glitch, in which a player using the Commando, Marathon, and Lightweight perks would pull out the care package killstreak marker, and for some reason it made them run blazingly fast. In this state, players would run around knifing people for entire games, in effect totally breaking what is commonly called the "Knifing" or "Runner" class. Eventually this was patched, but not before it had a long run in online play.

Next was the Danger Close/Javelin glitch, in which a player was able to force the Javelin missile to explode after death, generally killing several people in the process with the resulting explosion. This was a heavily frustrating glitch that was again, patched very late.

Then came the other care package glitch, in which a player was able to call in unlimited care packages, giving them an obvious advantage if left unchecked. After reporting everyone I saw doing this for cheating, IW finally patched this as well, but not before nearly every player on Live had exploited it.

There are no dedicated serves for MW2. This simply sucks major cock, and lag and host transfers are commonplace. IT is also not uncommon to simply be dropped from a game. Massively frustrating.

As for general douchbaggery, the once mature community of Modern Warfare 1 has been overtaken by every asshole with a internet connection. These people are generally identified by having clan tags like WEED, W33D, DANK, HASH, JEWS, and things of the like. These people are also the morons who use titles like High Command, Blunt Trauma, So Baked, Joint Ops, and Pineapple Express. Then there's the people from Halo 3 who think calling everyone in the game room "gay" or a "faggot" is still funny, and still there's the children of about age 13-14 telling me to "fuck off". I'm only sad to see one of my once favorite online communities has been ruined by the general populace.


This all said, I still manage to enjoy the game by playing with my I'm sure little known clan, [IRON]. Look for us online.

[IRON] Go0fyT0oth
[IRON] d4p0k3
[IRON] tehNarwhals
[IRON] McDuck67
[IRON] moarzors
[IRON] Nazg0ul89
[IRON] Trollfus
[IRON] Jeeves 1080
[IRON] RisingAngel


At the end of it all though, if you're a gamer, you basically should own Modern Warfare 2. Simple as that. 9.5/10

24th Entry - Halo 3: ODST

Well well well. The much anticipated ODST has arrived. Read on my friends, about one of this fall's most definitive releases.



Does Bungie's newest masterpiece really need an introduction? You play a rookie ODST (Orbital Drop Shock Trooper, for those of you living under rocks) and aside from Spartan 117 himself, these guys are the biggest bad-asses this side of the galaxy.

Naturally however, due to the fact that you are no longer a walking, you know, TANK, there are a few changes. The ODSTs do not have a Spartan's speed or jumping ability, nor their super-strength. Your melee attack power is greatly decreased, and is far less useful than when playing as a Spartan. ODSTs also obviously do not have the energy shield of a Spartan. Instead, when you get shot, your screen will gradually grow more red as your character's breathing becomes more labored, and eventually if you keep taking fire your health bar will begin to deplete. This resulted in the return of health packs in ODST, however they are seamlessly integrated and rarely force you to wander searching for a health station.

Additionally, the ODST lacks a radar system, having instead a virtual map of the city of New Mombasa, in addition to the VISR system, which identifies enemies, friendlies, weapons and static objects in different colors. In some ways this is far better than being a Spartan, although the tradeoffs are noticeable.

ODSTs also have some trooper-only weapons at their disposal, like the silenced Automag and the silenced SMG. The Automag is amazing for taking down unshielded targets in rapid succession, but is utterly useless against Brutes and to a lesser extent, Hunters. Despite this, the Automag is an extremely utilitarian weapon and will be a staple. The silenced SMG is reasonably good, better than the Halo 3 SMG only in that it has a scope and can be used at greater range. However, with the absence of the battle rifle entirely, it is a shitty fill-in, as it too is rather useless against shielded targets.

I know it may seem as though the game's best features have been removed (No shield? No super-beatdowns? NO BR?!) but give ODST the chance it deserves. It is an excellent game through and through, no ifs, ands, or buts.



The campaign is short. Very freakin' short. Poke and I played it through on Heroic first time through and beat the game in one night. However, our intense compulsion to beat every Halo game on Legendary will no doubt extend the gameplay. Despite being short, the campaign is extremely fun, with an great combination of stealth, vehicle rape, and general bad-assery to satisfy every Halo fan, myself among them. (Quick example: If you ever play Halo 3's multiplayer, you may have noticed that attached to the C.Q.B. armor's chestpiece is a combat knife. Right, well the ODSTs have a combat knife as well, however unused it may be. In a certain cutscene, we see an ODST stab a Brute Chieftain IN THE NECK with his combat knife. Awesome.)

Without giving too much of the story away, the main campaign consists of you (the rookie) searching for your squadmates who got separated from you during your drop into New Mombasa. As you wander the dark, Brute-infested streets, aided by the city's AI "The Superintendent", you will discover clues that will help you understand what became of your ODST squad.

The graphics are somehow improved from Halo 3, especially on the 2nd campaign level, where I simply had to sit back and say, "That's real purdy." The cinematic sequences, in traditional Bungie style, are near-perfect. The music, as well, is excellent, featuring just the right mix of moody overtones with heart-thumping battle anthems.

Not much else to say about campaign, so moving on to the new mode of Firefight. Firefight lets you and up to 3 friends throw yourselves against insurmountable odds. The mode starts you in a defensible position with a few weapons and some ammo, and 6 lives to share among your squad. The game is played in sets, with 3 rounds per set, and 5 waves per round. The mode starts off simple but rapidly becomes difficult as more and more skulls (which create new rules that increase game difficulty, i.e. the Catch skull, which makes enemies chuck a ridiculous amount of grenades) are added. The sheer number of levels not to mention the random enemy spawns make for a interesting alternative to co-op, ahem, single player.

Despite ODST's undeniable awesomeness, there are several things that bother me about the game. For one, when using the shotgun or the sniper rifle, significantly less damage is done than when Master Chief wields the same weapon. A headshot with the sniper rifle on Easy in ODST does not even break a Brute's shield, whereas on Heroic in Halo 3 it will kill him. Same goes for the shotgun. Often in ODST it will not break a Brute's shield, where, again, in Halo 3 it would kill the Brute, or at least break his shield. I understand that ODSTs are no Spartans, but come on. Why do they do less weapon damage? That doesn't even make sense.

The following paragraph is mainly my personal bitching about the game, though none of it truly negatively affects gameplay. For hardcore Halo 3 players, the arc in which the ODSTs throw a grenade is much different than in Halo 3, and may bother you for quite a while, especially if you switch between games frequently. And may I add, shielded drones? Really? Really Bungie? I mean it's bad enough drones were in the game at all, I was like FFFFUUUUUU but then I saw shielded ones and i was yet again like FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU- And even worse, beat a level on Legendary with no grenades or weapons used!? AAAAARGH

It has been said that ODST is a "expansion pack" not worthy of its $60 price tag. These peopel have clearly not played the game yet. ODST is a refreshing and fun Halo experience, and may interest those of you addicted to Call of Duty, refusing to play Halo based on principle. At any rate, I highly recommend ODST. 9/10

23rd Entry - WET

Gamers have quite the month or so ahead of them, with Need for Speed Shift, Halo ODST, Forza 3, and COD Modern Warfare 2 all on the way, but perhaps you've found time to notice something like WET. Thought little more than a blip on most people's radar, WET is worth a look into.




WET is a over-the-top 3rd person shooter in the vein of Kill Bill. You play Rubi, a hired assassin out for revenge after being framed.

Being a fan of Tarantino movies like Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction ("SAY WHAT AGAIN"), WET instantly caught my eye because it had a similar look and feel. Another thing that brought WET to my attention was that it was published by Bethesda, the makers of Oblivion and Fallout 3. Instantly I wanted this game since Bethesda has so far only cranked out awesome games. Despite WET being a fun game, it is my final evaluation that Bethesda should stick to RPGs.

Anyway, right from the outset WET is in your face with wall-running, dual targeting, backflipping action. In the beginning, Rubi only has her dual pistols and her sword to fight off the bad guys, but soon you get the dual shotguns, which are excellent for taking down bosses or groups of weaker enemies. Then you will get the dual SMGs, which are perfect for annihilating pretty much anything, although they blow through ammunition like no other. Finally near the end of the game you'll receive the dual dart crossbows, which fire explosive tipped darts, perfect for blowing anything and everything away quickly and efficiently. While this may seem like not much variety, it will be more than enough to keep you entertained.

The gameplay for the most part is fun and addictive; despite seeming repetitive, jumping around like a crazy person and going into slow-mo 90% of the time just never got old. Just as I got annoyed with any part of the game, I would jump from a story up, go into slow-mo, and drop 3 guys before I even hit the floor, or something equally ridiculous.

On each level however, there are sometime jumping puzzles a la Tomb Raider. While WET excels at its over the top shooter aspect, the jumping puzzles are just horrific. Crappy camera angles, goofy and awkward controls....ARGH. Just BLARGH. Be prepared, and just be patient. You will mis-jump. You will die. Often. And you will become frustrated. However, just remain focused on the wall-running goodness that awaits you in the next room, and no controllers need be chucked at windows or roommates.

To mix it up, there are several car chase scenes, which consist of Rubi "car surfing" while blasting enemies and jumping from car to car and pursuing her opponents.

Every once in a while, there will be a "rage mode" level, where Rubi goes into a psychotic fury, changing the graphics to a bright noir red, black, and white. Not only is Rubi faster during these sequences, but she hits harder too. The rage mode levels provide for the most memorable and crazy parts of the game, and are always a blast.

This all aside, there is one level which can only be described as complete dick. The level in which you are free falling from a destroying airplane and attempting to avoid the falling debris is by far one of the most annoying and frustrating game sequences since the dump truck scene in Kane + Lynch (trust me, it was beyond awful). It took me several tries to get this scene right, so just be wary. I wish i could offer some tips for it but i can't even really; just try to memorize the pattern of the debris.

The game itself is fun but short, and not especially bad, but it's certainly not outstanding. However, even after you finish the game, what will stick with you is the game's soundtrack. The music is AWESOME. The timing, selection, and style of music is flawless, and is to be commended. If only all games took their music as seriously as WET did. Seriously, if anyone knows where to get the soundtrack of this game, let me know, because I'd really like to get my hands on it.

There we go. That's about all there is to say about WET. Rent it, or wait for the price to go down and buy it, but it's a fun game, and anyone who likes a good ol' over-the-top shooter will have fun with WET. Hell, if you're looking for a fun casual game to beat, this could be it. At any rate, while it's fun, it's not exceptional, and WET earns a 7/10.

HALO FANBOYS UNITE, ODST IN 2 DAYS!

4th Mini Entry - FEAR 2: Reborn Campaign

FEAR 2 was, despite what people may have said, a highly enjoyable game that I recommend. Therefore when I heard about FEAR 2 Reborn, a new 4-level campaign for FEAR 2, I got super excited.



Reborn is an excellent DLC for the most part, the first few levels being an action packed set of battles with the Replica and ATC forces. Aside from the end where the DLC's quality and ability to make sense begins to end, it's a excellent purchase.

In Reborn, you play as a Replica soldier Foxtrot 813. The beginning of the DLC is action packed, as you hot-drop from orbit in an armored walker directly into tons of ATC forces. As you tear them to shreds, you descend closer to the center of the Armacham explosion, and Alma appears more frequently as her powers increase. Essentially, Reborn has the same feel as the original campaign but with more of an emphasis on kicking ass.

Reborn isn't perfect, but if you liked FEAR 2 you'll love Reborn.

7/10

22nd Entry - Prototype

Yeah, yeah. I know this is kinda old. But honestly, nothing new has come out recently that I have wanted to play. Fortunately, ODST on the 22nd will fix that.

Anyway, Prototype.


Prototype - Xbox 360

You're Alex Mercer, an amnesia-struck shapeshifter out for vengeance. Awesome. When i saw the trailer for the first time i could scarcely contain myself. Unfortunately, the one thing Prototype has taught is to never get too excited for sandbox games. Despite the multiple attemts to change up gameplay, it always ends up repetitive. Don't get me wrong, Prototype is very very good, it's just that what should be a refreshing and neat concept wears itself out rapidly.

Anyway, the story missions themselves are generally entertaining, aside from the one or two that are crappy escort missions. As much as I though I'd hate the brooding character of Alex Mercer, I actually was suprised to find i didn't. Quite the contrary, I found his attitude fit the game perfectly.

The controls themselves are simple enough, although in the midst of having tank rounds fired at you, the button mashing can be annoying. There are several powers you can shift between, from Whipfist, Blade, Musclemass, Claws, and Hammerfist, to the defensive Armor and Shield powers, to the useless Thermal Vision and Infected Vision powers.

Whipfist is the most useful by far, allowing you to annihilate groups of weak enemies in one or two button presses. It also lets you grapple onto helicopters from range, putting it in the #1 most awesome power spot.

Blade is what it sounds like, a giant blade erupting from Alex's arm. It kills everything dead. Including tanks. Pretty much all there is to it.

Musclemass is, as far as I can tell, useless, because why chuck cars ridiculous distances to kill helicopters when you can just steal them instead? A dumb power.

Claws are your first power, and slice through enemies quickly, but won't kill armored targets. Useful until Blade and Whipfist. Afterwards, totally useless.

Hammerfist is hilarious to use but in the end kind of just goofy and awkward. The only time I ever used it was to kill tanks by doing a people's elbow from 30 stories up onto them. Like I said, goofy.

Armor is awesome, it makes you near indestructible and extremely heavy, limiting your mobility. But when everything around you is crying from the death and destruction you bring, that doesn't matter one bit.

Shield is ok, Armor is better. Simple.

Both Vision powers are just a waste of upgrade points.

Now, I'm sure as you work your way through the game, you'll develop your own favorite powers too, but rest assured, some powers are simply bad.

After beating the main story (which actually has a well thought out and intriguing storyline) you'll do some of the events around the city. Eventually you will do the Consume events, which are fun. The Virus events are hilariously easy, and the Military consumer events are as well, until you hit the set of 7 "hard difficulty" ones. These are frustrating, unfun, and very unrewarding. Approach with caution. As for the rest of the events, War events are generally pretty fun, Kill events are easy save for a few, Glide events are stupendously simple and even kind of fun, and the foot race events made me want to burn my copy of Prototype slowly over coals.

Sandbox games aren't really my thing, but if you're looking for something to do for a few days, Prototype will happily fill the spot. Being a solid game, Prototype earns a 7.5/10.

Next entry will likely be a review of FEAR 2's new FEAR Reborn DLC, Fable II's DLC packs, or perhaps of the new XBL Arcade game Defense Grid. Maybe all of the above. Depends on the homework situation this week.

Until next time everyone.

3rd Mini Entry - Fallout DLC

Fallout 3, if you aren't already aware, is one of my favorite games to date. The quality and amount of immersion in the game is unmatched, and with the release of new DLC it only gets better.

The original DLC for Fallout 3 is called Operation: Anchorage. It is a solid DLC and definitely worth your time/money.

The storyline extension seems kind of contrived, what with it all taking place in a virtual reality world. Despite being disappointed in this feature, most everything about Anchorage is excellent, especially the weapons which have been added in. Some are fairly boring like the Trench Knife, but some, like the Gauss Rifle, are hilariously powerful. Not to mention you get the T-51b armor, which never requires repairing, which in my opinion makes it the best armor in the game.

Anchorage is solid but it always felt like they didn't quite go the extra step to make it really stand out. 7.5/10

The second DLC pack is called the Pitt, taking place in the now Raider-controlled city of Pittsburgh. After the bombs fell, Pittsburgh became The Pitt, and the sign above the bridge to the Pitt reads "Welcome to The Pitt - HELL" pretty much explains the current situation.



This pack was infamous for being inexcusably buggy, doing all kinds of crazy things from deleting the player's inventory, or simply hanging up and not allowing the player to finish the quest. Bethesda remedied the situation as fast as possible, but the Pitt still remains very buggy, leaving a "play at your own risk" aura around this pack. When it wasn't freezing or glitching, i enjoyed the Pitt for the most part, but the bugginess made for a greatly diminished play experience. For hardcore fans only. 5/10

The third and undoubtedly best DLC to date is called Broken Steel.

It takes place in the Capital Wasteland, adds new weapons and stronger enemies, but most importantly, raises the level cap to 30, with new perks as well. I enjoyned this pack all the way through, never having a single problem with it. If every Xbox DLC was this perfect, well, then...I guess every Xbox DLC would be perfect. Honestly though, download this and play it now. 10/10

Two new DLCs have been announced, Point Lookout and Mothership Zeta.

Point Lookout has already been released, and I would review it right here and now, IF ONLY I HAD MY XBOX. Alas I won't have it back until i return to Richmond in the fall but for now I'll drool over the screen like a good Fallout fanboy.

Mothership Zeta takes place on a alien spaceship. Holy shit. This is all that needs saying.

Next entry - Prototype! Or the Conduit...hmm...I'll have to decide.

2nd Mini Entry - NEW RELEASES (kind of)

So as we roll through summer, we'll eventually hit fall again, and we all know that means tons of new games. Well some of the best stuff has been announced recently and in case you haven't heard about any of it, I've decided to compile a little list here of what looks awesome. Thank me later.

Also, what are you guys looking forward to? Did I miss anything for Wii? Let me know in the comments...

What have you been playing through recently? New stuff, like Wolverine? Old school? PC?

For me it's been this.

Oh yes.



Anyway, on to things you care about.

Modern Warfare 2

I guess after Treyarch's flubbing of the franchise, Infinity Ward has stepped back up to the plate to hopefully give us something grand. If you haven't seen the teaser, here it is.



Now it's also been annoucned official debut information will be released on May 24th, so stay tuned.

Prototype

Look, I know I was really wrong about Legendary, but Prototype is another new game that looks promising. I can't say much else, other than that this trailer rules.



Brutal Legend is a new game I'm especially interested in. It's a neat-sounding game taking place in a heavy metal-themed world. I think we're long overdue for something like this. \m/



Hmmm. What else? A new Wolfenstein, for those of you who are fans, and also a new Battlefield: Bad Company are due this summer, along with oh yeah, BIOSHOCK 2!



And finally, to wrap things up, the thing i most want to see, Mass Effect 2.



Enjoy everyone, the next entry will be on Resident Evil 5! Followed soon after by a mini-entry covering all the Fallout DLC, and what you should know about them, Wastelander.

21st Entry - FEAR 2

Alright, I'm going on a writing spree this week as i devote the only time I'm not working in the evening to my much-neglected blog.

Since we're playing catch-up, this time it's FEAR 2!



FEAR 2: Project Origin (Xbox 360, PC, PS 3)

I'm shamelessly addicted to survival horror games. It's just something I've had to accept. That in mind, I was excitedly awaiting FEAR 2's release. Day it came out, went out to my local Gamestop, picked it up, and popped it in with Poke watching me.

The game lives up to its survival horror title, to put it simply. I hear people criticize FEAR 2 for "cheap thrills" or just being "a bad game". I don't see how this game is bad. It has a story that draws you in, interesting characters, not to mention the game itself has a realistic feel and the weapons are neat and inventive. So to everyone who's hated on FEAR 2, i say no, no to your ignorance of a excellent game.

So to everyone new to FEAR, you really should start at FEAR 1, which is also a excellent game, to learn the complicated story better.

All of you FEAR junkies though, keep reading. So, the malevolent force known as Alma has been unleashed on the world, with catastrophic results. She has decimated an entire city and shows no sign of stopping. Michael Becket is sent in with a special forces team to put a stop to everything. The game essentially tells the story of Becket as he comes closer and closer to defeating Alma.

While the story is mainly text-driven, anyone who cares enough to read the text will enjoy the intricate story.

People have said FEAR 2 lacks a good ending, but I fail to see how this is the case. I found the ending shocking and provocative, and I'm sure any true FEAR fan would as well. All in all, the story is the least of this game's worries.

FEAR 2 provides a blissful and much needed array of enemies as opposed to the simple setup of two enemies in FEAR 1. Ranging from high tech black ops soldiers to psychotic failed experiments, FEAR 2 not only has a great range of enemies, but provides some excellent shock value as well. More psychological enemies appear, as Alma's desires begin to replace out world with hers. There is also a stage or two in which you enter a mechanized unit and tear apart the base of the Armacham security forces. It is in no way difficult and you get the feeling of god-like power as you sweep through the city, wrecking all in your path. Definitely a fun part of the game.
The number one enemy, however, is Alma. Throughout the game she terrorizes Becket and his team, leading some of them to strange deaths and ultimately falling in love with Becket. There are some truly shocking moments with Alma, and i can only hope they match them with FEAR 3.

The weapons are the centerpiece of any shooter, and FEAR 2 is no different. The Nailgun makes a return as a fan favorite, and yes, it still pins enemies to walls. There's a rocket launcher, and it's pretty hilarious, especially with FEAR 2's amazing graphics and physics. The SMG also returns, and, if anything, is better than the original. There is an all-new laser beam which really brings the pain, and also a new energy weapon that dishes out the death room by room (just stay out of the blast radius). There is a flamethrower but it isn't really a great weapon, much like the sniper rifle, which is quite terrible since the game is mostly close quarters combat. IN WHICH CASE THE AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN IS AWESOME andthepumpactiononesucks. There's also a pistol but no one cares unless you dual wield them and even then they're still just pistols. :/ Finally there is a 3-round burst fire rifle, much like the famous Halo battle rifle, which is very good and quite frankly sometimes feels like you're cheating to use it.

Slo-mo also makes a return and is more useful than before, or maybe I just never used it. Whatever the case, it seems more polished this time around.

Not much else to be said about the otherwise somewhat short single-player. Moving on to the multiplayer, I had very mixed feelings everytime i fired it up. It was quite unlike COD 4 or 5, or Halo 3 in that I am confident in my ability in all of those games and generally do well in the multiplayer; however, FEAR 2 seemed to have no ground in skill but rather in what armor class you could cheat the best weapons into. The game rarely seemed balanced, as sometimes I would be dominating in one game, and the next game i would get crushed terribly. I felt it had something to do with the matchups of each player's default weapon sets, because I know it wasn't my inexperience with the genre. Whatever the case, FEAR 2's multiplayer has a long, long way to go until it rises to the ranks of such as Call of Duty and Halo. That's not to say it isn't fun for a while, because it is, you'll just grow tired of it more rapidly than you would a different shooter.

All in all, and multiplayer achievements ASIDE BECAUSE I HATE THEM poijwrl9by,hjILJONH:(>G, FEAR 2 is awesome and if you liked the original you'll like the sequel.

9/10

Also, I personally can't wait for everything that's been announced recently! Next entry - A GIANT POST OF EVERYTHING GREAT THAT'S COMING OUT with yours truly.

Till next time everyone.

20st Entry - Castle Crashers

Hey everybody,

It's summer finally, so I'll be having time to actually update this. Also so you know, I've gone and messed up the dates for like all of my posts, so today's is for May 13th 2009, just so we're back on track.


Castle Crashers - Xbox 360 (available only on 360, through the XBL Marketplace)

Anyway, today's review is for Castle Crashers, a Xbox Live Arcade game available for 1200 MS points. The cost is negligible - I am telling you, as a fellow gamer, you need this game if you own a Xbox 360. Need. Also as a side note, I've never played this game on my own, and neither should you. The 4 player local multiplayer should keep you and some friends busy for a while.

Additionally, Castle Crashers may or may not provide the best drinking game experience in existence, but I'll leave that one up to you to discover.

Right, so not much of a story here, just 4 goofy characters of your choosing, a couple of princesses in need of saving, and a whole lot of button mashing. Anyone can play this game, all it requires is pressing X and Y in various sequences and, if you use magic, sometimes RT. Oh yeah, and LT is block, but that doesn't really matter, unless you have a friend like me who always makes a magic character.

As you can see, not much involved in mastering the game. However, the game has numerous unlockables and weapons, although you only begin with the original 4 knights and their starting weapons. Some of my favorite unlockable characters are the Bear, the Pirate-Ninja (Pinja, as my friends have coined it), and the Skeleton. There are tons of weapons as well, too many to count, ranging from a lobster to a flaming dragon-sword. There are also Animal Orbs, each of which offer a special bonus to the user, such as extra health or defense, or in the case of my personal favorite, Bi-Polar Bear, mauling enemies near death.

The levels are well designed and rarely, if ever, boring. Each has its own sort of ridiculous humor, varying from crude to clever (mostly crude, though :p) There are plenty of hidden items on each level so be sure to search. Being it that the game is a sidescroller, there's not much else to say about the levels, other than that the entire game was drawn in Flash, a highly impressive achievement.

Other than the addictive gameplay, the game really shines in its 100% original soundtrack. The songs are all great, and i ended up hunting down all of them and putting it on my iPod...really good stuff. CHAOZ JAPAN.

Another facet of the gameplay is the massive boss fights, ranging from a Catfish to a sock-puppet wielding dragon. Each boss is more silly than the last, the final boss being no exception.

After you play through a few times, you may find yourself thinking, "I wonder when this will get boring?" And, miraculously, the answer is, IT WON'T! Despite having about the same 20 levels to play over and over, it NEVER got boring. There's always something new to unlock or find. I have played the living crap out of this game, and i still find myself going back with a friend now and then to beat it again.

All things considered, Castle Crashers is THE best Arcade game available for purchase, so buy it already. 10/10. Seriously, it's side-scrolling perfection.

19th Entry - Mirror's Edge

Mirror's Edge (Xbox 360)

So I'm making up for the last few weeks. It's going to be a ridiculous slew of games, as a whole bunch of great stuff has come out since November. We'll start with this new EA franchise.

Mirror's Edge isn't the newest game out, but it definitely takes the cake for innovation.

I first saw the cover art for Mirror's Edge at Gamestop on the "coming soon" shelf. Poke and I both automatically dismissed it, thinking it was really stupid looking alongside such greats as my beloved Dead Space. However, it has managed to make me eat my words.

The game pits you as Faith, a part of a underground kind of smuggling ring who are called Runners. The world they live in is constantly monitored and watched, and Runners provide the communications between those who still fight for independence.

The game itself is a first-person adventure. It has shooter elements, but is not actually a shooter. Instead, you spend the game "free-running" over obstacles and also fighting off policemen and security forces. You can choose to use martial arts to fight off your enemies or just simply shoot them with their own weapons. The graphics are rather stunning, with a good use of bright color that sets it apart from the various shades of gray so present in other games. The EA team has done a great job creating a futuristic city from the ground up, and you'll be seeing all parts of it, from insides of offices to the tunnels of a subway.

Alright, alright, so what's good about it? Well, a lot. But it's still a new franchise with some defects.

So the good. Like i said, stunning graphics, awesome level design, and a interesting premise. The cutscenes are done in an cool cel shaded style. As for the game itself, the campaign is short but challenging. Playing on "easy" doesn't actually make it much easier, it only means you won't get shot up as much by the police. In this sense, if you don't learn to use the controls well, you'll be frustrated easily.

The "Runner Vision" helps immensely; it is a tool that highlights your next objective by shading it red on the HUD. Which, really, is another high point of the game. The HUD is flawless in that it barely exists, never cluttering the screen with things I don't care about. Definitely a good thing.

Another great boon to the gameplay is the inclusion of the martial arts combat. It's extremely satisfying to be running along at full speed, when all of a sudden a cop pops out of nowhere, and to not only not stop, but jump on him and use him as a springboard to get away. There are too many moves to list, and the combat is limited only by your own imagination, and you know, gravity. But only kind of. :)

There are some levels which can only be described as supremely badass. I think somewhere between jumping between two cranes over a 300 foot drop and kicking overzealous gun-toting bad guys in the face, I experienced Mirror's Edge at its best. I'm just sorry it couldn't always be that great.

Now of course, the bad.

The game has nothing truly wrong with it. It also has nothing truly GREAT either, which leaves it's "innovative" gameplay feeling like a cheap gimmick which has roped you in and then left you lonely and friendless. To put it in the most confusing words possible, Mirror's Edge over-reliance on it being "different" is it's greatest flaw. Every moment in-game screams, "HAHA LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! FLYING DROP KICK YEHAAW" and while this is great for the first few levels, it becomes contrived by the end.

Despite reasonable character design, they still manage to kill off the one character who we all know would be killed off. In addition, we never had time to become attached (to any of the characters, really). The in-game moment has the air of "YOU AREN'T GOOD FRIENDS WITH HIM BUT HE'S DYING! WHERE IS YOUR SOUL, FEEL BAD YET?" These kinds of moments in games are pretty crippling, and indeed, I lost interest in the story after that point. However, the game shamelessly chugged along to its cliche ending. Ah, well. Innovation and good stories can't all be in one game. (Wait, I'm getting something here...DEAD SPACE. Ok, there we go. WAIT, WAIT...FALLOUT 3. Ok. I'm feeling better. Onwards.)

Mirror's Edge, like so many other games, starts out great, loses its momentum, and begins riding the fine line between greatness and total boredom. Despite being different, that alone is not enough to thrust it to the level of greatness all games aspire to.

When I played through Mirror's Edge, I couldn't seem to decide if it was mediocre, crappy, or breakthrough awesome. After beating it, i think it's safe to say it's a little of each.

Final words: Rent it. Worth a playthrough and $5.

6.5/10

18th Entry - Need For Speed Undercover

Need for Speed: Undercover (Xbox 360)

Welcome back everyone, sorry it's been so long. :(

The main reason it's been so long is i KNEW i had to do this review next. While I have always been a Need for Speed fan, this one wasn't terribly worthy, even for a fanboy like me.

The game starts out well, despite the cheesy continuation of the NFS story. The gameplay has only improved since the early NFS games, and this is no exception. The sheer amount of customization possibilities is ridiculous, and even a little overwhelming. And, despite that fact that it's a racing game, Undercover still manages to mix up the gameplay enough that it isn't boring.

The meat of this game is the career mode, which is easily the longest in the NFS series. I'm unable to decide if this is good or bad. I can tell you the writing for this game was atrocious, as over half of some characters' lines are (bad) innuendos, as well as the random rivalries that spring up for no apparent reason during the course of the story. The attempt at a "plot twist" is no less obvious than being hit by a semi. Sigh. What will it take for EA to realize a story just doesn't belong? It worked in Tokyo Drift!

The cop chases are fun and exciting, and the infamous Speedbreaker mechanic makes a return to assist you in plowing through roadblock after roadblock.

Despite my love for this series, it always has flaws. Undercover just has lots. The most glaringly obvious flaws for car guys like Poke and I are the arbitrary assignment of car stats.This is a rampant problem throughout the game. The muscle class cars are also impossible to drive because they refuse to turn, and last time i checked, a Chevrolet Corvette was a RWD vehicle, yet the one i drove in the game out-manuevered anything from Japan, which is just plain wrong. A Lancer EVO with worse handling than that of a Challenger? Seriously, what the hell? It seems nitpicky, but this kind of sloppy detail subtracts from the game. (Also, a Bugatti Veyron tops out at 253 mph, not 246. Check on it, EA.)

Despite the lack of "realism" as far as the cars are concerned, the acting is subpar. Just because you put Maggie Q in the game doesn't mean we'll all be too busy staring at her to realize the acting would make Vin Diesel's character in The Fast and the Furious have a nervous breakdown.

(I'm going to go on a quick tangent here. Why does the radio always suck in driving games? I understand, put some rap and R+B in there, that's fine, no big deal. I even understand the crappy mainstream rock. But seriously, throw the metal fans a bone. Not even one song? And I mean real metal, none of this Bullet for My Valentine stuff, or even worse, Slipknot.)

*end rant.

Right, so Undercover has a multiplayer mode, which i tried. I have to say, I'm a gamer, and I can move at a fast pace, but the game of Cops and Robbers i played was too fast to even think. The Nissan Skyline i was driving went 0-100 in about 1.5, and the whole game mainly took place above 200mph. I'm sorry, that isn't even kind of real. It was so mind blowingly fast i didn't even know my team had won. Needless to say, I'm not a real fan of the online modes.

A final annoying feature of the game was the shamless abuse of bloom lighting. Shameless. Poke was once driving into the sun, and the lighting effectively made it appear as if the road was glass, and the glare made it impossible to even see. Come on, EA, too much of a good thing...

So now you're thinking after that flame-fest, Goofy, you're not a fan of NFS after something like that. WEll, yes, I am, and a very diehard one. It's why i hate to see the games start going downhill. NFS is in need of a major return to roots, Underground-esque revival. Unfortunately, Undercover does not provide this revelation.

The career had enough variety to keep me busy. I don't know if it's because it's a good career, or if i'm just a fanboy so I'm patient. Either way, if you feel you're getting bored with it, take a break cause you'll just end up not wanting to pick it up again. Undercover is one of those games. In addition, beware of the Highway Battles. These 1v1 races are generally easy but there were a couple that required 20+ tries, at least on my end, and I like to think i'm pretty good at Undercover.

One thing i do greatly enjoy about Undercover is its plain silly customization options. Yeah, I put 22s on my Aston Martin DB9. Know what i did next? Gave it a spoiler large enough to constitute a plane wing, slapped on some soda can mufflers, and gave it a chrome paint job. That's right, chrome. And when the sun hit it just right, the glare off the car would burn a hole in your retina. You can do anything from serious to silly, and everywhere in between. Personally, I prefer to black-out the whole car. This is my Charger. (502 hp of muscle that runs on souls.)



All in all, if you're a NFS fan, give Undercover a shot. If you're new to NFS, uhm...buy a Gamecube and play through NFS Underground. If you like realistic racing games like Forza and Gran Turismo, you should not play this game. Bottom line - for fans only.

7/10

17th Entry - Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead (Xbox 360)

This game was one of the best things released in 2008, and I almost didn't know about it.

Poke's roommate (Vars) is a fan of all things zombie, he has movies, books (The Zombie Survival Guide, anyone?) and now he's got a game. (Well not really, I haven't returned it yet.)

If it weren't for Vars's zombie thing, I never would have even seen the demo. But he, Poke and I downloaded it and gave it a run. It was pretty fun alright, but i wasn't about to run out and buy it. Fortunately Poke and Vars bought it and it was definitely worth it. ( I really need to buy my own copy.)

The game's premise is that after a zombie apocalypse, our four Survivors battle their way through 4 unique campaigns in a city, a park, a suburb, and an airport. The game uses a unique "Director" feature that makes the game different each time you play through random spawns based on a variety of factors.

There's the veteran Bill, the college girl Zoey, the cubicle-dweller Louis, and the tattooed biker Francis. I only play as Francis. For the following reason. (from the Left 4 Dead wiki - Francis is notable for often contextually exclaiming how he hates something. Anything, really.)

Among the things Francis hates:

• The Army
• Ayn Rand
• Bats (dislikes)
• Boat lawyers
• Boat people
• Boomers
• Camping
• Churches
• Cops
• Doctors
• Electric fences
• Elevators
• Helicopters
• Hospitals
• Hotels
• Hunters
• Jumping
• Lawyers
• Mazes
• Planes
• Sewers
• Small towns
• Smokers
• Stairs
• Subways
• Tanks
• Trains
• Trainyards
• Tunnels
• Turnpikes
• Vampires
• Vans
• Vomit
• Walking
• Water
• Whispering
• Witches
• Woods
• Zombies

Awesome.

There are also the Infected, which i will briefly describe.

The Hunter is a fast-moving Infected who can immobilize a single survivor unless he/she is rescued by another survivor. It has a pounce attack and a claw attack. One of my favorite classes to play as in multiplayer.

The Boomer is a disgustingly obese bile-filled monster, and can projectile vomit onto the Survivors to attract all nearby Infected. They have almost no health, however, and are easily killed.

The Smoker is an Infected with a long tongue that is used to ensnare and drag away Survivors. It is insanely powerful when used correctly and can certainly take a few bullets. The Smoker also has a claw attack in additon to its primary tongue grab. This is my favorite Infected to play as.

The Tank is a huge, zombified Hulk. It hurts to be punched by and will kill you almost instantly if it hits you with a concrete brick or a car. Only concentrated fire will kill a Tank. If engaged at range, a Tank is rendered harmless as it can do little at range. The Tanks is my least favorite Infected to play as, mainly because of its horrible imbalances.

The Witch is a non-playable Infected. She has glowing red eyes, a distinctive cry (and scream), and has long, deadly claw-hands. She WILL kill you if you are careless, she will also kill you even if you are very precise, because the Director seems to find it amusing to place her below ladders or at choke points. Also, in a game one of my friends took part in, the Director once spawned five Witches forming a death blockade across a doorway essential to progression. If this happens, accept your painful death, for there is no way to escape.

Anyway, this game is fun on your own for a while, I suppose, but the real fun is the multiplayer. 4 humans play as the Survivors, and 4 play as the Special Infected, such as the Boomer, the Hunter, and the Smoker. (Occasionally the Tank as well.) The humans try to get to the safe rooms while the zombies try to kill all the Survivors.

There are only a few weapons. At the start, there is a Uzi, or a pump shotgun. Further into the levels, there is a Benelli M4 Super 90 semi-automatic shotgun, a M16A3 assault rifle, and a Ruger Mini-14 hunting rifle. You can also acquire dual pistols.

Real men use the pump shotgun for all five levels of a campaign. Unfortunately, we can't all be real men, so the other weapons were put in the game.

There are also Molotov cocktails and pipe bombs for taking out groups of Infected. Using pipe bombs is synonomous with "cheating." So is playing on the "Easy" difficulty.

The true beauty about Left 4 Dead is its simplicity. Easy to pick up and play, yet challenging enough to keep a serious gamer busy.

After beating all four campaigns, eventually you will turn to the multiplayer modes. There are a few things that should be known about multiplayer in Left 4 Dead.

First, teamwork is paramount. If you don't have cooperative teammates who will communicate, find a new game.

Your success depends entirely upon your teammates. I don't know about PC gaming, because I'm not a PC gamer, and I won't pretend to be. But on Xbox Live, a good game of Left 4 Dead is precious because generally, your teammates are douchebags, your opponents are douchebags, your opponents are douchebags who use glitches, your teammates are douchebags who use glitches, or everyone participating in the game thinks they are playing Halo 3 and run around yelling about no-scopes and killing sprees. No one cares. Not even your douchebag teammates.

Alright, well its not really that bad, but the average Xbox 360 player is not someone i want on my team.

Second, the only playable multiplayer maps right now are No Mercy (city campaign) and Blood Harvest (park/woods campaign). This greatly limits replayability.

Finally there are several glitches that allow the Infected team to wall the Survivors off from advancing. If this kind of thing frustrates you, you've been warned. It drives me nuts when the other team does this, as you are powerless to move on, until the zombie team realizes they are being morons, and move the block.

Despite its potential shortcomings, Left 4 Dead delivers one of the most solid multiplayer experiences in recent memory. Running around blindly like in some shooters will get you killed here, make sure to remember you're on a team now and need to play as such.

There really isn't too much more to say about Left 4 Dead, other than that you should buy it and that it's full of zombie-blasting goodness.

That said, Left 4 Dead earns an impressive 8.5/10. Play it. Now.
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Now playing: Alice Cooper - No More Mr Nice Guy
via FoxyTunes

16th Entry - Call of Duty: World At War

Call of Duty: World at War (Xbox 360) - I know this isn't the real cover but it's so much better. :)

Alrighty then everyone, I just finished a 3 hour battle with my homework, i finally came out on top for once. I wanted something fun to do afterwards, so here i am.

And then I noticed the review i was doing was Call of Duty: World at War (CoD:WaW). My heart sank. For several reasons.

One, this game was a total letdown.
Two, unfun games are never as good to write about.
Three, this game was a total letdown.

I'd like to let everyone know, Poke was right and i was wrong. This game came out, and I kept pestering him to go in half with me on it, since i wanted to play, but of course was too cheap to buy it outright. He kept saying no, but i eventually wore him down and we got it. What a waste.

Popped it in, turned on co-op, and came to find the screen setup was AWFUL. Not only was it terrible, you can't change it. Stuck in Suck-Mode forever. Not a great start, Activision.

I really don't have much to say about the game itself, it's a lot like Cod 4, minus, you know, the good stuff. Poke and I beat the co-op mode in under 4 hours. Dissatisfying.

Poke gave up on WaW at that point. I took it to my apartment and figured I'd try single player. It was ok, a lot better than co-op for sure, but still just ok. I beat the game in yet another dissatisfying 7 or so hours total.

Dismayed at my waste of $30, I gave WaW back to Poke to have him beat it. (Originally I was going to have him write this review, but he never played CoD 5 again, he really didn't like it.)

My (our?) copy of World at War ended up back at my local GameStop as fodder for my collector's edition copy of Halo Wars. :/

Ok I'll talk about what I liked, then what I didn't.

The good stuff about this game is fairly limited. However, the sniper level in Stalingrad is great fun, reminiscent of the greatness that is CoD 4's "All Ghillied Up". I had a good time with that level.

The game mode you unlock upon beating the game, NAZI ZOMBIES, is pretty amusing, and it's fun even, but after about 20 times of playing it, it loses its appeal, and falls aside.

The strong point of all CoD games shines here - multiplayer. I spent an afternoon playing multiplayer, and had a damn good time (by 'good time', I mean unlocking the Japanese "Banana Gun" and running around like a deranged maniac). However, multiplayer won't hold me for long, the game itself needs to be good as well , and that just wasn't the case. I'll just mention that Poke really dislikes online multiplayer, mostly for the reason that "it's pointless". (He just hates losing.)

That's pretty much all i enjoyed from CoD: WaW. Oh, shoot, well i also liked the "Black Cats" level. Mowing down Zeroes with a huge chain gun is great fun too. If anyone knows where to get the music from that level, PLEASE email me a link, or something.

On to the bad stuff.

Co-op. Abysmal. It seems they had a week to go until release, and some developer ran into the test room and goes "FUCK we need a co-op mode!" and some idiot slapped it together in under 45 minutes, just so they could write "co-op" on the box to sucker people like me and Poke into buying it. Communists.

The gameplay took a step back from CoD 4. Activision, THAT'S BAD. We try to avoid annoying our target audience by producing games that deviate from what they're used to.

I can't quite put it in words, but pound for pound, WaW just feels inferior to CoD 4. Please give the next game in the series back to Infinity Ward. Please. Last thing this market needs is another WWII game. Yeesh.

Also, I'd just like it pointed out that as of now, World at War retails for approximately $10 less than CoD 4 does. Hmmm. Wonder why.

Call of Duty: World at Was earns a 5/10.

That's pretty much all i can bring myself to write about this less than satisfactory shooter.

As for the rest of you, hopefully you're going out to get FEAR 2 tomorrow just like me.

Until next time everyone.

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Now playing: Dio - Living The Lie
via FoxyTunes

15th Entry - Fable II

Fable II (Xbox 360)

HEY EVERYBODY! I can't seem to remember to update this blog, and it's not cause i don't love you guys.

Anyway I'm writing this now so that's all that really matters. So here we have one of the most anticipated games for Xbox fans since Halo 2, and I have to say, Fable II fell short of the mark. In fact, it was even disappointing.

Call me biased, I'm not a big fan of RPGs (I can be swayed, however by certain games, like Mass Effect, way too awesome to not play) and Fable II, if anything has made me lose more hope in the genre. I wasn't even for a second considering downloading the recent DLC from Xbox Live, I just can't be convinced to care. So enough rambling, I'm going to talk about why it was a less than perfect experience.

When I popped Fable in, it seemed promising. Neat story, pretty to look at, and i even got to have a dog. Cool.

But then things started happening, like me realizing how ridiculously BROKEN the magic (Will) abilities are. Why would you be anything but a mage? Charge up a level 5 spell or so, unleash it, and watch everything on screen wither and die. Do it twice if it's a boss. I'm almost serious.

In all honesty, the other two concentrations of Skill and Strength are nearly pointlesss, especially the Skill tree, which is terribly unbalanced when compared with Will.

So 30 minutes in I'm using nothing but magic. Then i make the mistake of eating a pie in-game, and suddenly my Hero is all huge and chubby, and for the life of me, I can't get him to lose any weight. And now I have a mage-y, fat, scarred, demon-horned Hero. Not really what I'd call desireable, and no matter how hard I try, i can't change any of his attributes. (Ok, I'll be fair, I liked the demon horns. Good for bad-ass points.) At any rate I rapidly became frustrated with the lack of emphasis on the story which had instead been replaced by an annoying need to RE-DECORATE my house!? Come on, this isn't the Sims. But you're close, Lionhead Studios, so close to making a Sims clone. >_< Coupled with a clunky and rather unrealistic "realtionship" system where people become your friends after farting on them a few times, I rapidly moved from being annoyed to dismayed. How was this game getting positive reviews!? Poke gave up after reaching Bowerstone in-game, and my goofy self was headed down a similar path. (In Poke's defense though, he is a rather impatient player who will discard a game he finds annoying whereas i will finish it no matter how terrible.)

There aren't really any nifty weapons, only boring variants of the same weapon. They aren't even cleverly concealed behind a changed name, they're just all the same. So yeah, I could go in search of "loot", but WHEN IT'S ALL THE SAME, what's the point?

I think that's about all the bad stuff i have to say...oh wait.

Right, so Poke and i are big fans of co-op games (Army of Two is awesome, I don't want to hear it) and so we noticed Fable was co-op. We gave it a try, and i can't really describe it to you in words. I'll try though. It is an experience in frustration; an abysmal, terrible, and clunky system, and to top off this pile of garbage, it's FIXED CAMERA. Yes, fixed. Seriously, read a book, Lionhead. If two players are on seperate Xboxes, they don't want a fixed camera. Fixed camera doesn't even work in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and it's the best game ever made. I had to stop after 5 minutes of co-op mode, it hurt too much. But wait, there's more. If you join someone's co-op game, you don't get to use your own Hero. Nope, you get to choose from several stock ones. STOCK! The whole point of this game is character customization, so then in a co-op game, you remove one of the things this game had going for it!? That's like telling me you're going to give me a delicious burger with bacon and cheese, but then when you give it to me, it's really a bunch of strangely colored forest fungus between slices of Spam, and you didn't even have the decency to give me the damn bacon. Much like forest fungus, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and makes me much less likely to buy your games.

In all seriousness, though, Lionhead spent years on this game, so why did it end up like it did? Why is fighting off creatures of myth worth less than pounding the "A" button to forge metal/serve drinks/cut wood? Why is Will so broken? Why are all the female Heroes busted? Why does a in-game character marry a zombie? Why did i finish this game? And, most importantly, how does a condom exist in this time period?

Now to say a few good things about Fable. One, the story is a step above average. I'd call it good even. I'd be lying if i said i didn't enjoy several of the story related quests. Two, I liked the dog. The dog was good. (One suggestion though, make the appearance of the dog more extreme, like if I'm evil, i want a dog with horns, possibly leathery demon wings, and definitely a tendency to breathe fire. F*ck it, just let me have Cerberus on a leash.) Three, you managed to make a decent inventory system. For all the multitudes of items you acquire in this game, I never felt overwhelmed because I always knew where everything was. And four, the game really FELT medieval and arcane. So good job on that.

Bottom line - Fable is a over-hyped sequel with a good story that is hampered by its own need to play interior designer. Don't buy it, rent it. And return it after you beat it. Easy, done, move on and don't look back. 6.5/10.

Do like Goofy instead, and look forward to FEAR 2's upcoming release. :D

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Now playing: Dio - The Last In Line
via FoxyTunes

1st Random Entry - Dead Space Art

I'm on DeviantART (here) and i was looking around and stumbled on this very appropriate drawing about Dead Space, I just wanted to share it with everyone, it was too good to pass up.

All credit to Esau13 on DeviantART. His page.



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Now playing: Judas Priest - One Shot At Glory
via FoxyTunes

14th Entry - Gears of War 2

Ok, this time I'm pretty much back on track with my schedule, so I actually got to writing this before the end of the month.

Anyway, this week I'm reviewing the much anticipated Gears of War 2.



Gears of War 2 (Xbox 360)

What to say about this game...

Well, for the most part, the annoying things from Gears 1 are mostly gone, such as cheesy, CHEESY dialogue, glitches in the cover system, a weapon switching glitch, and other minor annoyances. Other than that Gears 2 is exactly what it should be: more of what I liked about Gears 1, with no dumb new "innovative features" we didn't want.

Gears 2, like 1, is a tactical shooter. This means about 15 minutes of frustration for me and my fellow Halo addicts to realize that you can't directly charge an enemy and expect to not die (especially on Insane difficulty, but we'll get to that silliness later). It also means I can't beat anyone who is good at Gears in a online match to save my life, NOT THAT I'M BITTER.

So the best part about Gears 2 is the weapons, at least for me. The reason I talk about the weapons in some games, and not in others is that the games whose weapons impress me enough deserve to be recognized. They have a lot of variety, and all the possible uses will keep you busy for a while.

We'll start with the Boomshot, a ridiculous piece of rape that is only dropped by the aptly named Boomers, who are essentially very dim-witted Hulks that can only speak one word describing their weapon. At any rate, this thing takes out anything in one go, save for a Reaver, and the active reload makes it shoot a cluster grenade. I personally got really good with this thing and it paid off because you can get all those pesky turret guys with it. Once it runs out of ammo though, drop it because you'll rarely find ammo for it again.

The Gears shotgun isn't a standout among shotguns as far as I'm concerned, but it does have a ridiculous range and will damage enemies almost a hundred yards away. Up close it's unfair and silly, but if you have to reload you're screwed. Just don't miss, you n00b.

The Gorgon pistol is carried by the annoying Kantus monks who roll and dodge bullets. The Gorgon has a 4 shot clip, but each "shot" is an approximately 10 bullets, making it a devastating shotgun alternative. If you get the active reload its damage becomes high enough to down even a Mauler. Also it has a zoom, making it incredibly versatile. Some people hate the Gorgon, but they're also probably the people who team-kill with flamethrowers.

Jackasses.

Next is the Hammerburst assault rifle, but what they really mean is "the carbine from Halo except it shoots metal and not that glowy plasma junk". Really that's what it is, it's a semiautomatic weapon with a decent zoom (and a kickback that takes getting used to) and I'd take one over a Lancer any day.

The Hammer of Dawn is useless in anything but campaign or Horde. In these modes however it is cheating because it kills everything you point it at in seconds, as long as you can aim. It summons a sky-laser from an above satelitte and blows everything into delicious chunks.The end.

Next up is the Lancer. It's a fully automatic assualt rifle with a chainsaw bayonet, which means it isn't really a bayonet, but simply a chainsaw. Whatever. Good damage, decent range, no zoom. Ugh. I think it's overrated, but I'm outnumbered 300 to 1 by all the 10 year olds who play Gears and rave about cutting people in half with the chainsaw. At any rate, you need to carry either this or the Hammerburst at all times.

The Longshot is a sniper rifle. A BOLT-ACTION sniper rifle, at that. I thought we stopped using bolt-action, after the invention of, you know, SEMIAUTOMATIC WEAPONS. Despite its bolt-action-ness, it kills most everything in a single headshot, and if it doesn't, then most likely an active reload headshot will. If that doesn't work, switch to a different weapon, but you're probably screwed anyway. Also, don't bother aiming for anything but the head, as it does negligible damage elsewhere.

Now we have my third favorite weapon, the Snub pistol. 12 shot clip, semiautomatic, and a nice zoom. Perfect. Everything i need in a pistol, and also did I mention if you do it right, the active reload is almost instant? It even does good damage! :)

The Torque Bow is two things. One, it's the most ridiculous weapon. Two, it's by far my favorite. It shoots explosive tipped arrows that stick to anything, granted you hold the fire button for a little. They toned down the explosion radius from Gears 1, but it's still a formidable weapon. It has a line that shows its trajectory, making it easy enough for even a moron to use. It also has blades along the sides of the bow, which make it an effective melee weapon, but in all reality I kind of feel that it would pose a threat to the user, if he were to carry it on his back or something. At any rate, great weapon, learn to use it.

The Boltok pistol sucks hard. Hits like a truck but everything else about it is painfully awful. Avoid picking this up.

The Mortar is super-powerful, but takes a little getting used to. Practice in Horde mode. The active reload just makes the explosion bigger. Also never blind-fire it, it goes off wilder than your mother. Heheh.

ANYWAY, on to the Mulcher, a mountable machine gun that has terrible accuracy unless you are standing next to the target or if you have mounted it on cover. Use RB to cool it down, as it rapidly overheats, and keep an eye on the ammo, as it runs out faster than you'd think. This is a really useful weapon against Bloodmounts, if you can get it mounted before they are on top of you.

Finally there is the flamethrower. They put this in here, just like they did in Call of Duty: World at War, because people ALWAYS whine when there isn't a flamethrower (even Halo PC fell victim to this). Anywho, only use this if you're screwing around on Easy difficulty, and use it to get the achievement. It's really pretty terrible, and the active reload apparently increases the range, but it's still a useless
weapon.

As far as the enemies are concerned, there isn't a whole lot of variety, but that's OK, as it makes you feel more like you're fighting a faceless horde than a collection of heroes. Basically you have your standard issue Locust, pretty easy to kill and generally armed with Hammerburst. Then there's a upgraded version with more health, followed by the Theron guards who have good weapons and are bullet sponges. There's the Kantus monks who are really fast and take a lot of damage, and somtimes they howl, and if you're close enough it will knock you down. Next are the Boomers/Maulers/Butchers/Grinders, who use Boomshots, flails, cleavers, and Mulchers respectively. Bloodmounts are strong Locust who have Drones on their backs, and are very tough and are a high kill priority because of their speed and strength. Wretches are weak little enemies who are fast and can swarm you if you are not careful. Tickers are organic mines that should be dealt with from a distance due to their tendency to explode. Sires are quick, mutated Locust who melee only, and are little threat unless completely ignored. Finally there are Reavers, which take tons of damage and attack with missiles and turrets. Kill them quickly and from behind cover.

Now to talk about gameplay, the controls aren't awkward and they are in fact good. The HUD is nice and clean like Gears 1 was, and though the cover system got an update and isn't as glitchy, it still isn't wonderful and can be clunky. Other than that, everything else functions pretty smoothly, and it's a fun game to play.

Before i wrap this up, I just want to comment on how exceedingly difficult this game is on Insane. On Hardcore, it's not really even that difficult. When you put it on Insane however, the difficulty is ramped up so much, it's nearly impossible. Myself and another good friend spent a good five evenings or so playing it on Insane and finally beat it. Do not play on Insane if you want to have fun. Just a warning.

Alright then, in closing, Gears 2 is a solid and capable game, earning it a 8.5/10. Good, but not above and beyond.

Till next time everyone.

13th Entry - Saint's Row 2

Saint's Row 2 (Xbox 360)

This has been one of the surprising games this fall. I played Saint's Row one when it came out cause I wanted to play Grand Theft Auto for the 360 but it wasn't out. The first one was a pretty good game with some minor flaws. But everything I didn't like about the first one was fixed in this one, plus some other really cool features. There is tons more customization not only can you change your clothes you can change the way you look, your voice or even your gender (and make some transgender freak if you want [no offense]).

Unlike GTA IV this game realizes it's an arcade game and doesn't try to make real driving physics that just piss you off cause it's almost real but not quite so it's hard to judge whether or not you can make that turn so you just run into the wall instead. In Saint's Row the cars behave like you expect them too. Plus you can also customize them as well, not just painting them you can give them more health make them drive faster and even make the tires stronger. Also you just have one garage that can be accessed from any of your houses making it much more convenient (plus as a reward for completing one of the side missions you can have a guy drive them to you for free, on of the many ridiculous rewards, more on that later).

The general game play doesn't stand out in a good or bad way. The graphics are good, not great. You have standard weapon classes, pistol, shotgun, smg, rifle, rocket launcher, and grenades. They didn't put in armor instead just made you take tons of bullets, plus your health regenerates which because it's an game I think is better, or better then having to find a hot dog stand at lest. Also apparently your guy is jacked cause you can just tear a fire hydrant out of the ground and throw it at somebody a mile away it's great fun.

The bad guys are, while not inventive, well done. The story also has some pretty funny parts. One of your lieutenants has come up with this complex plan to rob a casino goes kind of like this

Johnny Gat: What's with this doll house?
Pierce explains a complex plan.
Johnny Gat: why don't we just kill everybody between us and the money?
You: It would be faster...
Johnny Gat: and more fun.
You: F*ck it let's just do that.
Pierce: Aww guys come on!

You pretty much just give Pierce crap the whole game. There's also a couple of fun missions where they make you really high and force you to do complex things it's pretty funny.

Then there are the side missions. I hate most forced side missions that are there to artificially extend game play, but these are great. Also they give you crazy rewards. You can get what can only be described as rape weapons, and then you get unlimited ammo for them,. Plus I randomly jumped out of a plane and it said press Y to do base jumping. I landed in the center of the target it gave me and now I don't take any falling damage at all, plus there are many others that make you basically invincible, and of course some crappy ones like 75% off at the mechanic from a major pain in the butt mission too.

This game is really more than the sum of its parts. It is a lot of fun to just screw around and any time I got stuck or really mad I just went crazy and destroyed the town and instantly remembered why this game was so fun. This game is easily one of the best to come out this fall. I give it 9 out of 10.

12th Entry - Legendary

Everyone, i have bad news.

Well, really first i have an apology, i haven't been able to write a new entry in forever, school has been slowly (rapidly) crushing my soul.

But the bad news is, Legendary was a letdown. On a grand, epic scale. I just want to make sure everyone knows how bad i wanted this game to kick ass - I read updates, i visited the site, i got mad at its initial negative reviews, i bothered Poke repeatedly by mentioning it to him every waking hour, I slept with the pre-order art book - uh, well look, before this gets weird, you get the idea.

At any rate, in my mind, this was the game of the year.

And, well... just read the review. :(



Legendary - 1st Person Shooter (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)

You're Charles Deckard, a world class thief with a fire axe and a chip on his shoulder. You've been hired to steal Pandora's Box, and in doing so you unwittingly open it and unleash mythological creatures into the world.

Ok, stop. This is where I became hooked. As soon as mythology is invlolved, I'll probably buy it.

Indeed, I bought it, and after throwing it in the ol' 360, after not even five minutes I felt like this game was going to not be what i wanted.

I rapidly devoured the story, which is easily the shortest, most pathetic excuse for a campaign mode i have ever seen. If you put your mind to it, this game is beatable in about 4 hours.

This game gives out achievements like candy, so if you really are desperate for Gamerscore or something, its a fun little diversion.

Alright alright, so let's talk about the stuff Legendary does right. It has (some) merits.

Right, first off, this is not a BAD game. It belongs in the NFS Carbon, Fable II, and Star Wars: Force Unleashed catergory, that is - a perfect idea, executed in a terrible fashion.

Easily this game's best feature is it's innovative and powerful AI. The creatures work alone and together to take you down. The werewolves are the best example but all of the creatures are intelligent and unique.

The Lumos werewolves are pack animals, usually in groups of 3 or 4, and they are smart. They climb the walls, throw things at you, and get in your face, but then are nimble enough to jump away and beat on you again. You will be very impressed by the amount of work put into making these things seem realistic. You are hunted, and you will feel like it.

The Alpha werewolves are better than you, and they know it. They are fast and at least 3x as strong as a Lumos. They provide a fun and much-needed challenge. They act like the Lumos wolves, except they are bigger and will do anything to get in your face. They jump mind-bending distances, and are stunnigly fast. Also, if a Lumos werewolf gets in its way, the Alpha will punch it in the face/kill it/kick it. Pretty amusing. Also, for pure badassery, let a Alpha jump on you while you have the shotgun out, and then mash the buttons that appear on the screen, and you shove the shotgun in its face, and well...you know where it goes. Awesome.

Then there are the Griffins. (That's how I spell it, some people say Gryphons, Gryffins, whatever, my way is right.) These are huge, and sometimes you have to fight one mano e mano. It's pretty epic, they are tough customers. Unlike the wolves, these guys don't bother with any of this "nimble" garbage, no, no....they will charge through anything to get a piece of Deckard. I find the easiest way to deal with them is a rocket, it's generally a 1 hit kill, and if you miss, go back to target practice. Also the SAW works pretty well, if you have about 250 rounds to put in the bird's head. The griffins in mythology were described as dangerous predators, yet still benvolent under the right conditions. The griffins in Legendary are evil, gigantic harbingers of destruction. Definitely my favorite enemy.

The Nari are so retarded. They are a kind of harpy, I dunno, their representation isn't very accurate. I hate these things, they go invincible for a while, and you have to hit them with a blast of energy from the Signet. They hurt a lot, and they will possess objects and throw them at you (demon soda machines). They are really small, best solution is pest spray with the SAW, or the shotgun if you can aim. >_> At any rate they giggle like children which makes them ever more annoying, deal with them or they will snipe you with boxes and stuff.

The Minotaur is like the Terminator, if the Terminator carried around a big piece of rock as a sword. Really though, this upright walking bull will kick you around the stage if you aren't quick. Pull out the shotgun or the SAW and let em' have it. Also, don't bother with Molotov cocktails, minotaurs like being on fire, and they will laugh at you if you hit them with one. These enemies are a pretty nifty piece of work, they are well-represented (accurate to their mythological description) and essentially are raw power with legs. Just be fast and dash a lot, you will be OK.

There are tentacles that pop out of the ground occasionally, just hit them with some ammo and it will let you go. Really they are more annoying than dangerous, just be alert.

The Salamanders are possibly as annoying as the Nari. They roll around really fast in death-boulder mode, then they unfurl and spit fire at you. Also, they explode when you melee them with the fire axe, so only real men kill them with it. The pistol is kind of effective, but use a shotgun and you're in business.

Finally there are the Bloodticks. They are very similar to the Flood in Halo. They are ineffective on their own, but groups present a problem. They are spawned by a bag-like Queen, kill the Queen and then they stop coming. These aren't really dangerous until near the end of the game where there are about 7 Queens in one room and they overrun you if you take too long. Just be careful and find the Queen fast.

The normal human enemies are annoying, and they seem much harder to kill than thy should, although one axe chop usually does the trick. They do carry ammo though, so make sure not to skip all of them or you'll be getting owned by a Alpha and have nothing but your axe.

The weapons are decent, nothing really bad, except for the pistol, which is inexplicably terrible. In all other games, the pistol may be weak but you can still kill things with it, the Legendary pistol just sucks uncontrollably, and you're better off just pissing on your enemies.

The shotgun is retardedly powerful, it fires insanely fast, and three shots is enough to kill a Lumos, and a whole clip will kill a Alpha, generally. It's easily the best weapon. Nothing else is really standout, aside from the guided missile launcher, which kills griffins in one shot. There's a flamethrower for all you failures who think flamethrowers are cool, and the SAW is ok also, almost forgot it. It has a huge clip, you almost never need to reload, and it kills werewolves dead.

The controls are fine, and do not detract from the game. Thank god, this game had enough problems, it doesn't need cripplingly bad controls too.

On to the stuff that made me hate the game i wanted to love.

The gameplay is subpar, and it is a degradation the Unreal engine. Not that it needs much help, but still. Also, at times it seems like the designers got lazy, because simple things are missing, like an animation showing Deckard's hands when he hacks a door lock. Instead, the door lock magically hacks itself as the player watches in amazement (annoyance).

To put it simply, the developers spent all their time on making the creatures great, and everything else (and i mean everything) was an afterthought. The animations for dismemberment are terrible (when they exist); the griffin simply explodes into terribly rendered little chunks when hit with a rocket, and there are several boss fights and mini-boss fights that just weren't designed well. There are numerous clipping issues, and there are a few weird attempts by the developers to switch to a horror-type shooter for a little while, and it doesn't work at all.

I can't say enough how badly i wanted this game to be awesome. It isn't awesome, it isn't even good. My only remaining hope is for the sequel to realize its predecessor SUCKED, and that Gamecock will adjust the game accordingly. You've got the creatures done right, guys, just fix the rest of the game! (Please stop using the Unreal engine.)

For starters, a pet werewolf would definitely add to the game. And on that note, I have to give Legendary a lackluster 4.5/10.
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